Have a Cupcake and Suck it Up

Demonstrators with signs reading “Not my president!” clogged streets, set fires, and smashed windows across the country again yesterday, with Portlandia as the epicenter.

Now we find out that this organic grass-fed protest movement is as organic, grass-fed, and grass-rooted as Occupy Wall Street, Ferguson, Baltimore et al. How do we know?

First tell: they always have funding from some Commie organization -

and the “protests” always devolve into destruction. They’re always the same; can you tell the difference?

Left to right: OWS – Oakland, Ferguson, Baltimore

All of the current “protests” are funded by various groups affiliated with “Anonymous” – theoretically an Anarchist group that appeals to youth and other disaffected groups:

Wake up cupcakes! Trump was elected president and there are flags to burn! Demands to be made!

This time they’re funded by a group calling themselves the “ANSWER Coalition” which emerged – organically – following Trump’s win with this announcement:

“In a shock result, Donald Trump has been elected president – but the people can rise up and defeat his bigoted, extreme right wing agenda!” ANSWER said in a post-election statement. “The ANSWER Coalition is mobilizing across the country to organize and take part in emergency actions.”

And the ANSWER group in turn is funded by the “Progress Unity Fund” which is run by a bunch of Marxist, Leninist, anti-semitic, anti-American haters.

Whoops! Wrong haters.

This time protestors were admonished that if they are going to use signs to make them by hand so they don’t all look the same – like they were provided by somebody funding their protests. So this time they just told their useful idiots what to put on their handmade signs.

Unfortunately they didn’t give specific instructions for what and where to print your message.

I think I understand the snowflakes dilemma however. I suspect that the cupcake generation doesn’t actually understand how our electoral system works as they now learn social justice in K-12 rather than American Civics. So I’ve prepared a simple explanation for them that I think they’ll be able to grasp: Elections are NOT like “OMG, I slept through my final exam.! I’m going to need a do-over!” They’re more like the end of a football game; for better or worse, love it or hate it, it goes into the record book of life. Suck it up, buttercup.

I don’t care how upset you are.

I know honey, have a cupcake. It’ll make you feel better.

TRIGGER WARNING!

PS: Although both Detroit newspapers called Michigan for Trump 3 days ago, AP finally conceded after 100% of the votes had been counted. Wouldn’t want a rush to judgement.