Are you "woke?"

At Ace of Spades, Oregon Muse offers us a handy guide to see if we are “woke.”

1. “Woke” is pretty much the same as what the old-time Marxists called “class consciousness”, i.e knowing that the human race is divided by economic class and that the “proletariat” class needs to overthrow the “bourgeois” class in order to establish the epitome of human perfection, the world-wide communist state.

2. The Marxists also had a term they called “false consciousness.” I think it means something like this: you know what “class consciousness” is but you reject it, because you know it’s bullcrap.

3. I once heard erg use this term to describe ace.

4. Don’t know if there is any comparable term like “false woke”. Maybe sleepwalking?

5. Anyway, the point is, “woke” is a concept that was basically lifted from rat bastard commies.

6. Eventually, as blue vs. blue conflict increases, we’re going to start seeing “woke fights.”

7. They won’t be called that, but that’s what they are.

8. At some point, the various factions of woke will start making distinctions between “woke” and “woke woke.”

9. And these woke groups will be all “woker than thou” to each other

10. To a “woke” person, the only thing worse than not being “woke” is being “woke”, but insufficiently “woke.”

11. These blue-on-blue slap fights will be hilarous to watch.

12. Even better with popcorn

13. “Woke” is just a way for the in-group kids to communicate their bona fides to other in-group kids and to signal the exclusion of the out-group kids they don’t want to let in to the in-group.

14. Yes, we’re all living in one big high school now.

15. And “woke” people don’t like the new principal.

16. By the way, this is all thanks to progressive politics.

17. A “woke” person’s life is consumed by progressive politics, 100% of the time.

18. For example, when he takes a dump, the “woke” guy worries that his poo is opressive to women.

18a. i.e. fart rape.

19. I would not be surprised if they did a survey of “woke” people and discovered above-average rates of mental illness.

20. The opposite of “woke” is normal. That is, if you’re not “woke”, that means you’re a normal person living a normal life.

21. The founding fathers would not have considered “woke” to be an especial virtue.

22. Even if it was their kind of “woke”, and not the progressive kind, which they undoubtedly would think was lunacy.

23. The government they implemented is designed to function without everyone having to be “woke.”

24. And that’s a major selling point of the American system.

25. You know who else was “woke”? Hitler.

26. Also Stalin. And Mao.

27. You don’t have to work hard or achieve anything in order to be “woke”.

28. You just have to have the proper attitude about things progressives care about.

29. For example, Anita Sarkesian’s “wokeness” is what got her on Twitter’s Committee For Public Safety where she helps decide who gets censored and who gets banned.

30. In other words, being a “woke” internet loudmouth was pretty much her only qualification.

31. “Woke” people tend to be very adept at this, i.e. worming their way into positions of decision-making authority.

32. Telling normal people what to do is what “woke” people like doing best.

33. And normal people just want to be left alone.

34. But what not many normal people understand is that while they may not be interested in “woke”, “woke” is very interested in them.