The Snowflake Test: Personal Edition

Well, some of you wanted it, so here it is. I know I posted some of the questions in Kyle Reyes’ Snowflake test in my last post about it, and I provided some personal replies, but I thought, and a couple of readers agreed it would be fun if I answered all of the questions honestly, and provided the opportunity for you guys to do the same in the comments section.

Soooooooooooooooooooo…. Let’s see if Kyle thinks I’m a snowflake and whether he would hire me.

• Outside of standard benefits, what benefits should a company offer employees?

Opportunities to expand their skillset, opportunities to advance, and parking. Parking is a biggie for me, living in DC and paying $25 per day if I want to drive to work.

• What should the national minimum wage be?

There shouldn’t be one. Period. Employees and employers enter into a mutually beneficial contract, for whatever the price of employee’s labor is that takes into consideration both what the value of said employee’s labor is to the employer, and what the employee agrees to be compensated for said labor. If the government interferes and forces said employer to pay a higher wage, the employer will likely have to weigh the cost of increasing the value of the product and passing that on to the consumer, risking a decline in sales, or just not hire the employee and force others to pick up slack that could have been filled by someone seeking experience and a few extra bucks. Entry level jobs aren’t meant to be careers. They’re meant to be providers of experience and skill, and if someone is sitting in a minimum wage “career” and not advancing, but demanding a higher wage for the same crap, they’re slugs and looters, and they need to go away.

• How many sick days should be given to employees?

Depends. I understand the idea behind sick leave. It’s not vacation time that you spend relaxing. Generally speaking it’s shitty days you spend in the hospital, at the doctor, or in bed hoping for a quick death. But it is leave – for whatever reason. So give employees sufficient amounts of regular leave, so they’re not trying to justify it with doctor’s notes and stuffy, achy, coughy-sounding phone calls and still have enough to take a vacation during the year. Everyone needs a break.

• How often should employees get raises?

When they merit them.

• How do you feel about guns?

Best tools of self-defense on the market.

• What are your feelings about employees or clients carrying guns?

Just keep your booger hook off the bang switch and don’t point it at anything you don’t intend to shoot, and we’re good.

• What are your feelings about safe spaces in challenging work environments?

Unnecessary and a waste of resources. Challenging work environments develop human beings as people and as employees.

• In a creative environment like The Silent Partner Marketing, what do you envision work attire looking like?