Common Sense Gun Control from The Rabbit Hole

Nancy, Nancy, Nancy – you’ve got to get those senior moments under control. You know, those times you let  your guard down and accidentally tell the truth: “They’re going to say, ‘You give them bump stock, it’s going to be a slippery slope.’ I certainly hope so.” It’s the oldest trick in the book and still, the disloyal opposition falls for it every. single. time.

So if we’re going to have to deal with the camel’s nose in the tent approach to gun regulation, allow me to suggest a few pieces of gun legislation that will speed up the long, downward slide on that slippery slope to tyranny.

• The imposition of speed limits on 1) firing rates and 2) bullet speeds. First, regarding fire rates, the new legislation will make it illegal to shoot faster than 1 shot every 2 seconds regardless of whether you are shooting with the aid of a device (e.g. bump fire stock) or an appendage (i.e. finger).
• Bullets will henceforth be required to adhere to the new national bullet speed limit of less than 900 feet per second. All new ammo will be required to be manufactured with self braking features once the maximum speed of 900 feet/second is reached. Any existing stock ammo must be retrofitted with an automatic braking mechanism in order to prevent runaway projection.

Existing Bullet Fitted With ATF Speed Control Drag Parachute

• Legislation that establishes a mandate that requires the Bureau of ATF to contract with Apple to develop an app that simply stops bullets dead in their track. I smell a comeback for Neo:

So allow me to summarize: why do Americans need guns?

Tell that to Goliath

Unless you have a military style, high velocity, assault slingshot,

Which we’re planning to ban as well.

And finally, Nancy’s pièce de résistance in the race to the bottom of the “gun safety”  slippery slope: a new federal law that would make it illegal to use an automatic weapon in the commission of a mass murder. That should do the trick.

See how simple it is? Why can’t we just get on with the implementation of common sense gun control?