aaaaaaaaand… Ted Cruz is Done: “Tastes Like My Dad’s Butt” (hoax? video)

by Scott Creighton

So let’s see, of the two front runners of the republican primary season, one has thrown a childish hissy-fit saying he’s taking his ball and going home rather than participate in tomorrow’s republican debate and the other just had this video of his released (full transcript after the break)

You think the moral majority is going to back him now that he’s on record saying he want’s to steal Girl Scout cookies and stick them up his butt? I mean, the walling off Mexico and carpet bombing brown people thing wont hurt him with that target market I suppose, but what about his knowing what his father’s butt tastes like or the Golden Shower reference?

Man, the freak-show never ends, does it? The lengths they will go to in order to put another Bush in the big chair is amazing. At least no one shot Reagan this time around and so far the Supreme Court hasn’t got involved. We got that to be thankful for I guess.

I certainly hope this is a hoax. If it is, it’s funny.

full transcript of the Butt Speech of Ted Cruz.

“Aspirations, is that like sweat on my butt? …What you want me—what I want to do in life. Well, my aspiration is to, uh, to be in a teen tit film like that guy who played Horatio…

“Well, other than that, uh, take over the world. World domination. Yeah, rule everything…

“Other aspirations? You still talking about the sweat that comes out of my stinky little butt? I’d like to defund Planned Parenthood. Stop the gays from getting married. That kind of stuff.

“One aspiration of mine is to steal thin mints from a girl scout, stick ‘em in my butt.

“You know, I’d really like to push a blind kid down the stairs with my butt.

“Well, I’d like to fart in my dog’s mouth, I guess, using my butt. Carpet bomb some brown people.

Oh wow, lookie here (chews a cookie). Tastes just like my aspiration.

“Uh, pee on my own butt.

“Deport the immigrants and build a wall around Mexico.

“More aspirations (with unbuttoned shirt, rubs stomach). Um-hum, I sure do love to drink the sweat that comes out of my butt.

“I’m Ted Cruz and I want to run for president.

“What a day! What a day to be Ted Cruz. (Drinks water from a fountain) Tastes like my dad’s butt.”

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