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"The Long Lost Thrill of Doing Nothing“

Monday, August 21, 2017 4:33

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“The Long Lost Thrill of Doing Nothing“

by David Cain

“Many text messages between my friends and me take roughly this form: “Are you busy tomorrow? We should do something.” That something often isn’t defined at the time. But when we arrive in each other’s physical presence, after we’ve caught up, eventually one of us has to ask: “So… what do you wanna do?” Then we have to decide. We could for a walk, go eat, play a board game, check out what’s happening in the city, just chat, or something else.

One of my friends – and only one – sometimes throws me a curveball here, and suggests that we don’t do anything, at least not yet. We can just lounge here in the living room. Or not quite lounge, but just relax and do nothing. I’m struggling to pick a verb for it. “Laze” and “lounge” both have moral connotations, as do “chill” or “veg.” “Hang out” is too general, and could mean switching on the TV, opening a bottle of something, or catching up.

I’m talking about just being in the room and not doing anything in particular, usually while reclining your body in some way, with no regard for the time and no idea of what to do next. Real idleness. You might absently study the joins in the drywall, bathe in the sounds of the neighborhood, put your feet up on something, or get down on the floor and put your legs up the wall. Or none of those things.

The first time I agreed with this suggestion, I expected it to feel contrived. I was worried that I might worry about how well I’m doing at not worrying about what to do. This apprehension quickly gave way though, as the feeling of doing nothing in particular began to feel extremely familiar. I had forgotten that I’m fairly experienced at exactly this kind of idleness. As a kid and then a teenager, before I started to think of time as a scarce resource, I did a lot of this.

Back then, I had much less awareness of the passage of time, or at least of the numbers on clocks. Time was something you referred to occasionally, when you needed to meet someone, or see a particular movie. There was so much less emotion tied up in what the clock said. I certainly hadn’t yet linked it to any kind of self-evaluation.

It seems like the introduction of adult responsibilities destroys the freedom to be only occasionally aware of how you’re using your time. After all, much of adult life concerns striving to make certain numbers work – having your income exceed your expenses, and spending enough (but not too much) time on physical fitness, paid labor, creative work, and leisure.

Doing nothing in particular, for however long it was that first time (maybe 15 or 20 minutes – but I don’t want to know), gave me a glimpse of what it was like when time wasn’t so predominant in my thinking. It was wonderful to discover that just by stepping away, briefly, from the stream of serial decision making, it was still possible to experience life with at least some of that freedom.

My friend has since convinced me to be idle by myself on a regular basis. I have been. When I’m finished with one thing and don’t immediately move on to another, I’ll tip myself back on the couch, and let the planlessness of the moment take over. I stop deciding altogether – even about what time I’ll start deciding again.

I should be clear that this kind of doing nothing is entirely different from meditation, which I do a lot of. Even though meditation is all about abiding in present moment experience, and refraining from entertaining thoughts about past and future, it does require a specific intention, and enough self-oversight to keep yourself on track. True idleness is intentionless time, and it fulfills something that meditation doesn’t.

I also don’t want to confuse true idleness with leisure. Parties, vacations, walks in the park and flea-market excursions do return us to the moment from our planning and striving. But these activities are themselves planned and budgeted for. We can even have a certain anxiety about them not going as planned – a vacation not feeling carefree enough, for example.

Spontaneous idleness challenges an urge that’s deeply ingrained in many of us, especially in modern, secular societies: the persistent need to feel like we’re making something of our time. This urge has many names and styles – the Protestant work ethic; the American Dream; the Bucket List; the Examined Life; any form of “Get busy living or get busy dying.” Each of these ideas can drive some pretty incredible lives, however, and create a lot of enriching experiences. There’s a reason we so often think of time as an investment. The way you spent your time in the past is largely what created your present, and that mechanism is always operating.

Completely ignoring efficiency probably doesn’t lead to a fulfilling life. But letting that efficiency urge drop occasionally, by punctuating our doing with idleness, challenges that faint but persistent sense that the moment we stop doing, our precious lives begin slipping away. That belief, which has largely motivated my adult life, is starting to seem completely backwards. Maybe life is slipping away in every moment we’re afraid to stop doing stuff. After all, nothing detracts from the enjoyment of your life like a creeping fear that you’re doing it wrong.

I don’t want to think of idleness as another investment—time exchanged for more wellness. So instead of thinking of it as an activity, we can think of it as an insight worth remembering: the end of one activity doesn’t need to be the start of another. You can simply remain where you are for a bit, without setting a course. If you’re a compulsive planner like me, going idle feels something like letting go of the side of the pool. It’s not disorienting for long, and the confidence rushes in once you realize you’re not going to drown.”

- http://raptitude.com

Source: http://coyoteprime-runningcauseicantfly.blogspot.com/2017/08/the-long-lost-thrill-of-doing-nothing.html

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