The Perverted Ghost and the Gross Defecation Cleansing

The ringtone – Somebody’s Watching Me by Rockwell.

Paul: HPI Paranormal Cellular Hotline.

Talia: Hi, I am calling to ask you what kind of cleansing does your group do?

Paul: We have investigators with all kinds of specialities in cleansings, we have Catholic blessers, metaphysical cleansers, Wiccan cleansers, Native American Indian cleansers, we even have a Voodoo cleanser.

Talia: That’s impressive, I have a new type of cleansing for you. Something you never heard of and it works.

Paul: Well, I am curious, before we move on, what is your name?

Talia: Just call me Talia, that’s not my real name.

Paul: Talia, I detect an accent?

Talia: New Jersey.

Paul: Okay, tell me about this cleansing method.

Talia: I went to a cemetery to visit my mother and I think I brought back a perverted male ghost.

Paul: Why do you say that?

Talia: The thing followed me inside my apartment. For a period of 3 months after the cemetery visit, it fondled me, it touched me inappropriately and I watch enough ghost hunting shows to know how to get an EVP. I got EVPs that said: “I want you”. “You are sexy.” “I want to f you.” Yeah, yeah..this ghost had the hots for me, I am only 24 years old and I am hot, but I do not need to be constantly touched and have this perverted ghost telling me the things he wanted to do to me. Ever been to a rape prevention class?

Paul: No, I had no reason to go to a rape prevention class.

Talia: (Laughing). I guess not, but I thought maybe you went to one with your girlfriend or something.

Paul: Nah..single.

Talia: Well, at my rape prevention class, they said to do gross things, so that way you don’t get raped. The speaker said that we should defecate, fart, vomit and urinate to gross out the attacker.

Paul: What are you saying?

Talia: Well, that’s what I did. One morning my stomach was all upset, I saw the shower curtains moving and I knew he was in there watching me. I got fed up with it, I got up from the toilet and defecated in the shower and in the sink and left it there.

Paul: Holy crap!!

Talia: You said it right! Holy crap is right.

Paul: That is freakin’ gross! What happened next?

Talia: Well…a couple of hours later, I did some EVP sessions. This is the responses I got: “Nasty bxxtch!”, “You are gross!”, “goodbye bxxtch!”. (She played back the responses for me).

Talia: The perverted ghost has been gone for 6 months now, I doubt it if he ever will return.

Paul: I doubt it too. It makes sense, just talking about this sickens me to my stomach and if I were a ghost, I would still be grossed out from all of this. Well, Talia you definitely got rid of him…how you did it, is very controversial. Wow!

Talia: Thanks Paul for listening, put this information out there..if there are other women being pursued by perverted ghosts, this is something they can think about doing.

HPI Fans!