L. A.’s Lighter Side!
by
L. A. Marzulli
Thanks to Pastor Caspar McCloud for lightening up our day!
This joke is actually a pithy way to get a quick grasp on all of the “isms!”
TWO COWS {Matthias Varga}
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.
A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive…
June 13-14: Nephilim Mounds II - SOLD OUT!
www.nephilimmounds2.com
Gary Stearman will be Joining Russ and L. A.!
We have limited seating so register soon!
___________________________________________
Pre-sale for WATCHERS 8 - Cloak of Secrecy!
Go to http://www.lamarzulli.net and save $5.00
Expect a MID – JUNE Delivery!
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L. A. Marzulli’s Speaking Schedule 2014
New Years Eve! December 31 – Calvary Chapel Oceanside - Southern Cal. http://www.calvaryoceanside.org/upcoming-events/item/322-l-a-marzulli-2014.html
Watcher’s 7! Screening in Southern California - Saturday – Feb. 1st. 7:30 pm – Just Cause Motion Capture Stage – 4130 Del Rey Ave. Marina Del Rey!–done
February 21-22: Decoding the End Times Bible Conference! www.theprophecyforum.com–done
March 28-30: Prophecy In the News! Orlando www.prophecyinthenews.com –done
April 5 & 6 - Dominion Christian Center. https://www.facebook.com/dominioncc?ref=hl–done
April 25 -27: Behold the Days are Coming Conference http://www.412church.org
May 5-15: Peru tour with L. A. Marzulli & Brein Foerster!
June 13-14: Nephilim Mounds II - www.nephilimmounds2.com
June 28-29: The War of Art! Southern California! https://www.facebook.com/events/477292755732768/
July 25-27 – Prophecy in the News Colorado! www.prophecyinthenews.com
October 24-25: Strategic Trends with Chuck Missler - Details coming soon
November 7- 9: Tri State Prophecy Conference – W/ Gary Stearman & Russ Dizdar November - OK City conference - details coming soon.
To book L. A. Marzulli please email him at [email protected] L. A. Marzulli shares the platform with a variety of speakers with many different world views. Marzulli does not endorse anyones world view unless specifically noted.
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In Other News: Tracking the Birth Pains!
Obama meddles in Syria!
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Temple Mount
_______________________________________________
Jerusalem will be a cup of trembling….
http://www.jpost.com/LandedPages/PrintArticle.aspx?id=354589
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Archaeology
_______________________________________________
News in 2 Minutes!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmCya4Pc8NY
_______________________________________________
Fukushima Update
http://ajw.asahi.com/article/0311disaster/fukushima/AJ201405270056
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End Times Prophecy
http://www.jpost.com/National-News/Israel-rescues-Ukrainian-Jews-stranded-by-fighting-354543
Source: http://lamarzulli.wordpress.com/2014/05/28/l-a-s-lighter-side-2/
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