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Did a Time Traveler Visit a Bigfoot Blog? (Video)

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The world’s most famous time traveler, John Titor, seems to have visited the bigfoot blog of Robert Lindsay. Ok, second most famous. There is Marty Mcfly. Titor is well known on the Interwebs as having come from a somewhat parallel time line that needs a really old computer to save the Universe. Apparently he spent a small portion of his time to stop by Lindsay’s blog, and explain what bigfot are. He would know people, he’s from the future!

 

John Titor
June 3, 2014 at 1:17 PM

Hello Robert Lindsay, I have come here to go public with the information which I am allowed to divulge.

Bigfoot is actually of the subfamily of primate Homininae and it diverged from the homo exactly 4.2 million years before present, which was 0.73 million years prior to the evolution of australiopithecus afarensis, whose presence in the Horn of Africa was verified by specimen AL 288-1.

Bigfoot was a pseudo-“missing link” between the Austaliopithecines and the Ergaster genus of species agglomerate. Due to its vestigial anatomorphological inheritance from its ancestral Southern Apes, it bore a conspicuous resemblance to Chimpanzees and the so called “sasquatch” of Sino-Tibetan and Nepalese myths, as well as the Algonquin-Blackfoot indigenous North Americans’ legend of Da-Ne Kasedanuki, leading many leading anthropologists of the first few decades of the 21 st century to assume that Bigfoot was a hoax perpetuated by cryptozoologists.

Bigfoot’s mitochondrial megahaplogroup clusters derive from their Most Recent Common Maternal Ancestor which diverged from the maternal lineage Mitochondrial Eve descends from about 4 million years ago. Therefore, their mtDNA diverges from ours on a rate of 1 out of 1,735 base pairs. By contrast, human nuclear DNA across global populations diverges an average of 1 out of 1,150 base pairs on average.

Their Y-chromosome is more visceral and simian. By analysis of their pseudoautosomal region on their Y-chromosome, which is the outermost fringe region of the chromosome which can recombine with homologous regions on the X-chromosome, (however the bulk of the Y-chromosome is incapable of homologous recombination with the X) we have concluded that about 0.0032 more of their sex chromosome base pairs are capable of recombination. The deterioration of the pseudoautosomal region in the Y-chromosome has begun since the divergence of the X and Y chromosomes from their ancestral chromosome 166 million years before present. As evidence, most ectothermic vertebrates lack the gender-determining function in their genome, but rather possess an environmentally determined gender system. The decay of this pseudoautosomal region has been constant at a rate of 12 base pairs per 5 generations, however this is in highly prolific reproducers, and as reproduction has decreased inversely proportional to the increase of cognitive function and prefrontal cortex gerantomorphication, the decay of the pseudoautosomal region has been exponentially retarded. Therefore, we can assume that the paternal lineage of Bigfoot could not have been separate from homo sapiens more than 6 million years, which suggests that paternally, Bigfoots are closer to Bonobos and Lowland Chimpanzees than to humans.

The actual scientific name for Bigfoot is Intermissiosius Panhomonidae. This taxonomical classification was derived from the Latin “intermissio” (in-between) and “Pan” (the scientific terminology for the Chimpanzee-Bonobo genus) “Hominidae” (human). “In between human and ape,” would be the formally equivalent translation.

There are actually two subspecies of Bigfoot, one is passive-aggressive and possesses a capacity for semi cognitive autonomous determination, which is to basically state one is partially capable of free will and self-introspection. This particular one has a reduction in the triad of Machiavellian personality and extraversion, but is able to utilize these characteristics more efficiently, meaning they lie, cheat and kill less, but are able to do this more efficiently than their sister sub-species.

My name is John Titor and I am willing to divulge more information for the return of information on a retrocomputer. The IBM 1500 is the device of which I speak of, and I will leak more information in return for any information on the location and availability of the IBM 1500. Thank you, and I apologize that I must use a proxy, however, I cannot reveal my personal Internet Protocol Address, due to confidentiality reasons.

 

To read more, and yes, there is more, follow this link and scroll down into the comments.



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