Gerbil’s portal into man’s anus

It is believed that up to 18 Gerbil’s were removed from a man’s anus whilst using the New Harry Potter’s magical 525 MHz double ended dildo whilst sharing it with gay lover. Both man were admitted to hospital and remain in a stable but critical condition with 3^rd degree burns.

The incident occurred last night whilst the two man were in a love sharing frenzy trying out the new Harry Potter’s magical 525MHz double ended 30 inch 240 volt dildo by the pool. It is believed one of the man had 22 inches of dildo driven into his anus by his lover who was chanting some mystical Harry Potter’s love spell when all of a sudden he lost his footings and fell into the pool still holding the 240 volt electricals device.

A neighbour who was walking his dog and witnessed the incident stated “As I walked by the house, I could hear some bloke who appeared to be screaming in pleasure asking for more while his mate was yelling out Harry Potter’s name & chanting some type of spell. All of a sudden there was this almighty bang followed by an explosion then horrific screams as the lights went out, my dog yelped then bolted down the street as I took cover”.

Another witness, an elderly 82yr old woman from next door said, “Well, Precious (my fluffy cat) and I heard what sounded like an explosion followed by a flash of light and loud screaming, so we looked over the fence & we saw one man climb out of the pool whilst the other was on his hands and knees screaming get it out. I then saw the man holding a naked flame staring into the young chaps butt hole & tug at something, nic minute it was like WWIII………a huge flame 20 meters long shoot out. The yard fence & hedges are set alight & this poor chaps running around with his head on fire, than as God is my witness the young chap stops with the flames and begins shooting out live Gerbil’s. Precious jumps the fence into the war zone and attempts to grab the little furry buggers as there flying out his butt hole but misses and cuts a major 5mm deep gash 10cm long across his butt cheeks”.

A Police spokesperson said, “When we arrived at the scene it was utter chaos, these two man were screaming in agony. One victim had all his facial and head hair burnt completely off whilst the other suffered major burns to his butt hole. Paramedics had removed a further 18 live Gerbil’s from his anus. It is not clear how the Gerbil’s became involved however 22 charcoaled Gerbil’s have so far been removed from the yard”, investigations are continuing.