Want more Money? Change how you feel about Finances.

Money. Mere mention of the word can cause a swarm of emotions. For many, money isn’t just about being able to meet our needs and live our lives; it’s a symbol of who we are, what we’re worth and what we have to offer.

How we use our money, treat our money and feel about our money is heavily influenced by how we think and feel about ourselves. Very few people realize just how much our Emotional Wellness affects our Financial Wellness. It’s easy to see how our financial circumstances can affect us emotionally—we get stressed when we don’t have enough cash, or overjoyed when money shows up unexpectedly—but it’s also true that how we feel emotionally can seriously influence how we behave financially.

How do you feel about money? Perhaps more importantly, how do you feel about yourself, and how do those feelings affect your understanding of abundance? Financial Wellness isn’t just about learning to play the stock market or set up a retirement fund. Beyond that, it is getting to the root of your beliefs about financial abundance in relation to your values, feelings of self-worth, hopes, dreams and fears. Your beliefs about money can reveal your fundamental beliefs about the way the world works and the way life is supposed to be. But before you can get to the point where you are comfortable enough with your money to consider it a stabilizing and energizing force, you have to get comfortable with yourself and your underlying beliefs.

Questions for Reflection: Financial Wellness:

What’s your Financial Wellness story? Reflect on the questions below. Write the answers down in a journal. Seeing them on paper makes them real. Circle what you think are healthy behaviors, underline the unhealthy ones you’d like to change.

-When you think about money, how do you feel emotionally?

-How do your parents think, feel and talk about money?

-If you had all the money you could ever possibly need, knowing that you would always be wealthy, how would you feel?

-What do you believe is more important than money?

-What specific aspects of your life would need to change if you wanted money to stop causing you emotional stress?

Often, we reflect on how to get more money, but rarely do we address the emotional baggage that accompanies financial wellness. Take the time to reflect on and answer the above questions. You might be surprised at what you find.

“Hey Guy, I’m broke,” And other Roadblocks:

If you are one of the many reading this article but not actually taking time to reflect on the questions above, what’s going on? Maybe you are feeling resistance, a lack of necessity, or anger at your current financial situation. You might be so filled with anxiety that you’d rather simply ignore your finances altogether in hopes that they will somehow magically work themselves out. You might also wish you could snap your fingers and have everything get better overnight.Roadblock thoughts we hear when talking with clients about financial wellness have included:

“I don’t really see how my emotions affect my finances.”

Think about the last time you were extremely upset about something. Did you think that having more money would make you feel better? Did you run out and buy something you didn’t really need? Did it make you feel better momentarily? Did it cause you anxiety later when you realized that you couldn’t really afford whatever it was that you bought? This is just one specific instance of how emotions can affect your financial behavior. Obviously, though, if you’re unwilling to look at the variety of ways that the emotional component affects money matters, you’re going to have a hard time finding lasting Financial Wellness.

“The only way my finances are going to get in better shape is if I get a different job making more money.”

Sure, getting a job that pays more can certainly go a long way toward helping you find financial freedom. However, if this doesn’t look like an immediate possibility, it’s important to start considering other alternatives. Before you start hunting for a high-paying job, consider cutting back on your expenses. No one likes this advice, but sometimes it’s the most practical and immediate solution to financial problems.

Also, if you believe that the only reason you should work is to get the money to buy nice things, it could be that you’re not fulfilling your true purpose in your job. Your occupation can be one of the most enriching and rewarding aspects of wellness in your life, and if you feel like your job is all about going through the daily grind in order to bring home a paycheck, it’s possible that you haven’t found your true calling. Doing some self-searching will help you discover your emotional ties to money, as well as whether or not you’re being fulfilled in your career.

Exercises to Increase Financial Wellness:

OK, so you get it. Emotional health is tied in to how we feel about money. Now, you need help finding more financial freedom. The first step is recognizing your emotional baggage around money. The second step is practically looking at where your money is going, to see if there are places you could free up additional cash.

Carry a small notebook with you wherever you go for one week and keep track of every single penny you spend. If you buy a pack of gum or a magazine, write it down. Don’t judge what you’re spending as you spend it. If you are judging, asterisk the purchase to remind you where you feel guilt. Just do what comes naturally and spend as you normally do. No one will know what ends up on your list, but you won’t get a clear picture of your spending habits if you’re not honest and thorough.

At the end of the week, sit down and look over where and how you spent your money. What items on the list are necessities? What expenses could be cut out? Calculate the averages after you have a few days worth of expenses, and see where your money really goes. Often, it is the smallest expenditures that end up taking the biggest bite out of your finances. You might spend four dollars a day on a coffee at the local coffee shop when you could brew it at home, or you buy bottled water when you could invest one time in a water filter and drink from the tap. After you see where every cent goes, you might decide to give up those expensive coffee drinks and save that money for something you’d much rather have.

Now notice which purchases made you feel guilty. Reflect on why you felt guilt in those situations. Find a way to release the guilt or stop purchasing those items. Every time we feel guilt around something we buy, we reinforce the idea that money has more power than we do. It doesn’t. It’s extremely helpful to have, but it doesn’t come close to the individual gifts and strengths each of us have.

Take Control of Your Current Financial Situation

Finding true Financial Wellness means applying simple common sense to money matters. The money going out shouldn’t add up to more than the money coming in. The equation gets complicated, though, when our beliefs and feelings about money and work get involved. Taking a journey into our emotional relationship to money might sound like a lot of work, but it’s worth it when compared to the amount of time we often spend stressing about our finances. When we live within our means, we can calm down and decide how to spend our money wisely, how to enjoy making the money in the first place and how to find financial freedom without having to make massive, uncomfortable sacrifices.

First things first, though. No matter what our ultimate financial goals are, getting a handle on our current situation will free us from anxiety and help us to decide the next right move. We don’t have to let money—or our unexamined beliefs about money—control us. We can take the reins and steer ourselves to true Financial Wellness.