Presidential Predictions Via Google Almighty

Soothsayin’ time anyone?


Here’s a fun experiment the readership can conduct the next time “Presidential Candidates on Parade” pops up around the dinner table. It’s more fun for the entire family after you’ve spent at least 15 minutes dissecting the “Wasted Vote Syndrome” (WVS) and the “Lesser of Two Evils” (LOTE) arguments.


The basic premise? In accordance with the wishes of the founders, any swingin’ Richard or Richardette can be President if they satisfy a few minimal requirements. Being at least 35 years old is pretty important,as well as being free of any felony level crimes or at least not getting caught at it. You also have to be a native born american and like to hang out in the good old USA. For at least 14 years. 


Could you be the next President? Use Google to find out! Just type your name into the search box and see how many returns pop up. For example, type my name “Shane Bruce” and hit enter and voila:


Shane Bruce  26,800,000 results, of which 26,899,995 have nothing to do with me.


Here’s a Google rundown/Poll/mightbeinfo about the current Two Party Duopoly contenders:


Democrat:


Barack Obama  245,000,000 results 
(AKA Rockin’ Barry O 223,000 results)


Republicans:


Mitt Romney 187,000,000 results


Michele Bachmann 53,700,000 results


Rick Perry 44,400,000 results


Newt Gingrich 9,340,000 results


Herman Cain  6,800,000 results


Gary Johnson  13,200,000 results




Ron Paul, a category by himself:


Ron Paul 52,200,000 results




Libertarian Candidates (Note the Lack of a Tin Hat Candidate):


Carl Person 101,000,000 results


Roger Gary 89,500,000 results


RJ Harris 43,500,000 results


Lee Wrights 1,420,000 results


Wayne Allen Root 710,000  results


Dave Redick 343,000 results


Joy Waymire 111,000 results


And for the rest of the nation:


Joe Everyman 7,520,000 results

Read more at Bludgeon & Skewer