Republican Leaders Approve America as a One-Party State

By Ambrose Bierce’s Ghost

No longer capable of providing any effective opposition, Republican leaders and party consultants have agreed that the Democrats should assume permanent political control of the country.

At a June 25, 2013 White House meeting, originally announced as a foreign policy discussion, House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) promised President Barack Obama that Republicans would offer only token resistance to all future legislation proposed by the Democrats. In return, Obama would permit the Republicans to remain a minority party in Congress, run candidates in certain Democrat-approved Congressional races and allow them to continue to raise money for losing Republican candidates through Karl Rove’s political action committees.

In a statement released by the White House shortly after conclusion of the meeting, Obama was quoted as saying: “In order for the government to continue on its present course, we need to maintain the appearance of democracy. Republican collaboration is essential to that effort.”

Boehner called the June 25^th meeting “candid” and “productive.”

According to notes taken at the meeting by a Republican operative, the GOP could continue to hold hearings on phony scandals such as Pigford, ACORN, Fast and Furious, Benghazi, IRS and the NSA on the condition that no conclusions are reached, no one is held accountable and no news is broadcast. The same source added that the major news networks have also agreed to those terms.

As part of the agreement, the Republican House leadership would continue its effort to purge Tea Party proponents and libertarians from party membership.

In an apparent demonstration of good faith toward their new Democrat partners, Rep. Peter King (R-NY) slammed fellow Republicans, Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) and Rep. Steve King (R-IA), and claimed that libertarians and Tea Party extremists would destroy the GOP.

The centerpiece of the new one-party coalition remains comprehensive immigration reform, which the Republicans are now committed to endorse. In return for their capitulation, some Republican candidates will be given a few of the new 11 million presently undocumented Democratic voters as electoral “trickle down.”

The future distribution of votes among candidates made by Democrat poll workers is expected to match the July 2013 poll released Pew Research Center showing that Latino illegal immigrants, given the opportunity to vote, would vote Democratic at an eight-to-one margin.

Praising illegal immigrants, future former Florida Republican Senator Marco Rubio said: “We’re not talking about plagues of locusts…”.

Although, as Business Insider noted in their recent article title, “Marco Rubio Has Alienated Just About Everyone In The Immigration Debate” – even the locusts.

On the bright side, all the agreed-upon cowering and surrender to Democrats has the Republicans well-positioned to maintain its grip as the number two party in Washington, D.C.

Said Speaker Boehner: “If you can’t be part of the solution, then there’s good money to be made prolonging the problem.”