The Hidden Misogyny of Planned Parenthood

We’ve all made a certain mistake. I have also. We’ve each, at one sad turn in our lives, ridden in a car to lunch with the biggest Bunghole that God ever had the warped sense of humor to allow continued survival. I rarely, you could almost make that never; sympathize with women who self-identify as feminists and precede to tell me why the phallus is the root of all evil. This guy I shared the car with almost made me think Gloria Allred occasionally had a point.

There were four of us in the car, myself, two ladies and a jerk-face of a guy who must have woken up on the wrong side of the floor that morning. I was driving us to some palace of haute cuisine like Arby’s and one of the ladies made a remark that was sexually gross and for certain values of dumb certainly equaled dumb. I was enjoying the song on the radio and didn’t feel like blowing this poor person up. I let it pass as we all do sometimes out of politeness and comity. Wolfman couldn’t let go. “Is your brain a life-support system for your crotch*?” He asked her.

Lunch was interesting, to say the least. If I were to go to lunch with a mixed party from my workplace and say anything similar, I’d have an opportunity to seek new frontiers, vistas, and a different career! I will admit to occasionally thinking it, but I have too much respect for myself to let that fly out of my mouth. Whoever persons** the Twitter Com for Planned Parenthood has less respect for herself and less respect for women than even a self-admitted Feminism Denialist like crotchety, old moi’.

You see, Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY)Heritage ActionScorecardSen. Rand PaulSenate Republican AverageSee Full Scorecard93% has decided he’s not quite satisfied with his present lot in life. He like to move to a new one with a street address on Pennsylvania Avenue. He told us as much yesterday with much fanfare and showmanship. This fried the Planned Parenthood Motherboard of Sanity.*** According to PPact, Rand Paul’s support page doesn’t have anything for women.

It has groups for lawyers, doctors, Italians, joggers and a veritable plethora of other categories. It didn’t have anything for men either. I guess all lawyers, doctors, Italians and joggers are asexual. That lies outside of PPact’s causal domain. Can’t get ‘em pregnant, can’t sell ‘em an abortion. Move along, folks. No revenue here.

This is obviously obtuse stupidity. The White Knight hiding in my cynical, reality-pickled brain decries this. It demeans the poor ladies! Are they arguing that lawyers, doctors, Native Americans****, and all the other various groups linked to exclude women? “The Horror” Said Mr. Kurtz. When did the “He Man Woman Haters Club” from The Little Rascals become more powerful than the Illuminati?

I think the “logic” at PPact went something like this:
1) Rand Paul is a member of set Republican.
2) All members of Set Republican exclude women.
3) So if Sets Lawyers, Doctors, and Indians support Rand Paul; all members therein henceforth cease to be female if they ever were.

A mere BA in Women’s Studies would never inspire such inspiration. You’ve got to pile it higher and deeper. So if PPact wants women to have abortions more often (Grrrreeeed, is good!), and if PPact doesn’t think women can qualify as Doctors or Lawyers or joggers, or much of anything other than PPact customers, than what do they think women use their brains for over at Planned Parenthood? Perhaps that idiot I had the misfortune of driving to lunch long ago could tell America. Someone should. Women deserve better than the Solyent Green they are being fed by PPact.

*Crotch is euphemistic compared the old, Anglo-Saxon term of art he employed in his interrogatory.

**-That was deliberately snarky

***-An example of trolling in the blog journalistic medium.

****-No comment yet from Senator Lieawatha.

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