How the left proves Christians and conservatives are not terrorists

One of the things the left has been on the hunt for is conservative terrorists. They thought they’d hit the jackpot back in February when Craig Kirby gunned down some Muslims. Unfortunately, he turned out to be an atheist, a fan of Neil DeGrasse Tyson, and a promoter of homosexual marriage.

The Department of Homeland Security seems to regularly issue warnings about conservative groups being the next wave of terrorist. It never happens and they continue to grope Swedish grandmothers in airports and miss homegrown jihadists that shoot up art exhibitions.

The closest they have come to finding actual threats have been aging Walter Mittys whose conspiracy seems limited to saying things the FBI objected to. The slackjawed Dean Obeidallah… I think he might be a member of that group that has a fetish for killing people who don’t agree with them, but I could be wrong… had a Chernobyl quality erection going as he wrote his Daily Beast column. It seems a 63-year old ordained minister in the “Christian National Church” and failed Congressional candidate, Robert Doggart, was arrested for saying meanie-pants things over the telephone with the FBI listening in. Let’s back up a minute. What is the Christian National Church? No one is quite sure. But if you want to become an ordained minister, these are the requirements: send money.

The Christian National Church issues ordinations based on the acceptance of our spiritual requirements. All ministers we ordain are considered to be in good standing with our church at the time of registration, regardless of past personal history. We reserve the right to revoke a minister’s good standing with our church should complaints concerning the minister’s ethical standards arise at any point following registration.

And it is a pretty tough bunch because it doesn’t give refunds so once you are a minister, you are in forever. No word if they stone you or burn you to death for apostasy.

To show you how dire a threat this Doggart was, he plead guilty to one count of interstate communication of threats. You can bet, unlike Garland shooter — and Muslim convert — Elton Simpson, Doggart will not get probation. But because we can’t call terrorism by its real name, untold resources have to be expended to prove that white AARP members are just as violent as whatever that other group is that is responsible for most terrorist deaths in the US over the past 20 years. They have a name, I just can’t remember it right now.

This leads me to an interesting piece in The Federalist that proves this search for conservative and Christian terrorists has all the intellectual rigor of searching for a unicorn or Philosopher’s Stone.

The fact is that if the American left really thought Christians or conservatives were afraid of them they would be hiding in the corner, befouling themselves. In short, they would be dealing with us in the exactly the same way they are dealing with Dean Obeidallah’s homeboys. University professors would be getting sacked for saying bad things about Milton Friedman. The staff of The New Republic would be shouted down for their insensitivity. Christian students would be allowed to pray in classrooms. Christian holidays would be observed. Christianity would be called the religion of peace and have the virtue of it actually being true rather than a bald-faced lie.

In short, the fact that the FBI and Homeland Security dares to write reports on the next wave of terrorism and blame Christians, you can be sure we really aren’t a threat.

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