Trump Physically Assaulted

NEW YORK, NY—While Trump was exiting his vehicle late Sunday evening, a woman who had been standing near Trump Tower’s main entrance stampeded past Trump’s police and Secret Service detail and managed to fling what appeared to be an adult diaper loaded with feces at the President-elect.

“Absolutely deplorable,” top Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway wrote on Twitter following the incident. “Donald Trump is our next POTUS and he probably deserves better than this.”

In the weeks since the election, countless numbers of social media users have called for violence against Trump. “These threats aren’t usually taken seriously,” said New York City Police Commissioner James P. O’Neill. “In fact, the real threats–such as this young woman in custody tonight–tend not to announce their intentions.”

The diaper struck Trump’s face and exploded upon impact. Wife Melania Trump, who stood beside her husband during the attack, sustained no injuries. A soiled and unrecognizable Trump was briskly escorted into Trump Tower following the incident.

It remains unclear whether charges will be pressed. The woman, whose identity remains unknown, was quickly apprehended by police at the scene.

According to one source within the Trump transition team, the President-elect is said to be in a “crappy mood.”