Emerson College Hates Language

Hey, guys… Can we not use the word “homosexual” to refer to people who are sexually attracted to people of the same sex? It’s offensive.

At least that’s the latest language trigger for those gentle millennials at Emerson College.

Language hurts.

According to a series of “Guidelines for Inclusive Language” published on the Boston school’s website, students should “avoid the use of homosexual and homosexual relationship” and rather “use gay or lesbian when describing people who are attracted to members of the same sex.”

I think most people use those words interchangeably with “homosexual,” so what’s the problem?

And it isn’t just the homosexuals… excuse me… gays and/or lesbians that are on the list.

You don’t say “manmade.” Instead, say “artificial.”

Also, the hetero-aggressive terminology of “manpower” is to be replaced with the far less threatening “workforce.”

An entire section of the guide spells out the best linguistic practices for discussing the disabled, noting that “when referring to people with disabilities,” students should “emphasize the person first and then the disability,” such that the phrase “person with a disability” is used in place of “disabled person” or “handicapped person.”

The guide later vaguely proscribes the use of “words with negative connotations, such as stricken or victim,” adding that the term “reported” should be used when discussing cases of sexual assault instead of “accused, claimed, and alleged,” because the latter three “convey bias and disbelief.”

No. They simply follow the terms of “innocent, until proven guilty” that are mapped out in our justice system.

Notably, the inclusive-language guide also recommends saying “historically underrepresented groups” or “people of color” instead of “minorities,” noting that “people of color are actually the majority in many large U.S. cities.”

That’s a lot of words.

I literally know no one who walks around, or would walk around saying, “historically underrepresented groups.”

Nothing about that sounds natural.

The super-silly guide goes on to point out that this insane juggling of average, every day wording is their effort to be “inclusive” in their communications.

“Community members should avoid using language that is insensitive to cultural differences or that excludes or offends any group of people (based on their ability/disability, age, ethnicity and race, gender, gender identity and sexual orientation, etc.),” the statement continues, telling students to ask themselves “whether it is appropriate to [their] communication to share a particular fact about a person (pertaining to social identity, e.g., age, ethnicity).”

I often walk around and great friends or family members with, “Hey, Lady,” or “What’s up, boy?”

Now I just want to go to Emerson College and terrorize the campus.

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