How Kellyanne Conway Helped Name a Minor League Baseball Team’s ‘Ball Pig’ Mascot

Politics attaches itself to everything these days, sucking the joy out of life like a bloated tick—more like one of those Alien face huggers to be honest. You can’t escape it. Not even popular escapist pastimes are safe. A Saint Paul, Minnesota minor league baseball team adopts a pig every year as their mascot. Fans submit names for the “ball pig” and this year the name chosen was a political jab at President Trump’s chief counselor Kellyanne Conway and her gaffe about “alternative facts.”

The St. Paul Saints unveiled the name of their newest ball pig “Alternative Fats” during a Facebook Live stream that included a video parody of Counselor to the President Kellyane Conway’s interview on NBC’s Meet the Press in which she coined the term “alternative facts.”

“You wanted the name of our 2017 Ball Pig, and we’re giving you Alternative Fats,” the team wrote alongside a photo of the pig.

The parody video is excruciatingly awful and unfunny.

Some of the other names suggested were funnier.

The team said it received a record number of entries in its “Name the Pig Contest” including references to the state of Minnesota or the team’s 25-year history as well as gag suggestions such as “Piggy McPig Face.”

Sean Aronson, director of media relations/broadcast for the saints said they also received an overwhelming amount of politically-themed names such as “Boar’d of Trump,” “Ham Jong Un” and “Pigimir Putin.”

If you’re holding a contest to name a “ball pig” and the winner ends up being “Alternative Fats,” how can you classify “Piggy McPigface” as a gag suggestion? They’re all gag suggestions because this is a gag.

Troy Drury, a fan of the team on Facebook, didn’t care for the name.

Troy Drury: I’m somewhat surprised you went political, but at least you could have chosen something funny. #pigly

Marshall Skare: they didn’t choose something funny. they chose something hilarious!

Troy Drury: #notmyballpig

Now that hashtag is funny.

The team said that the name is “not a direct shot at anybody” despite obviously being a direct shot at Conway.

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