Comey Is Just Like That Weird Girl “Donna The Buster”

This is 6th grader, Harold Phillip Stemp reporting from Mr. Murryhill’s class in Bellmore, NY.

We have this girl in class, her name is Donna Bustomonte. We gave her the nickname “Donna the Buster”, because she’s a real pain. Everyday in class she always has some kind of problem. Now, that’s not a bad thing, because everyone has problems from time to time, but the weird thing is she’s always stopping the class and making everyone in class pay attention to her. Mr. Murryhill, my teacher was real nice to her in the beginning of the school year, but now that we are at the end of the year, he seems to be losing his patience with her.

Two days ago, she got a paper cut and blamed it on my pal, Billy Tentforth, then stopped the entire class just to scream and yell at Billy. Then she demanded that Mr. Murryhill bring Billy to the principal. Her tantrum took so long that it caused us all to get even more homework than usual because we couldn’t finish the regular stuff in class. That made me mad. Mr. Murryhill is getting really mad too because he can’t teach and do what is good for the rest of us in class. I don’t know, but it seems that Donna The Buster is sure getting a lot of attention, but hurting everyone else at the same time. That’s not fair.

Yesterday, with all the crazy stuff going on in our government, Mr. Murryhill made us watch some of the hearings with that really tall FBI guy, Comey. I saw Mr. Comey walk into the hearing and boy he sure looks like he could have been a  basketball player. Mr. Murryhill said the hearings were part of our social studies lesson. I know Mr. Murryhill doesn’t like our president, but even so, I thought it wasn’t so nice that he screamed ‘YES’ everytime that Comey guy said something bad about the president. I better not tell my dad that, because my dad thinks that Mr. Murryhill and the rest of the teachers should keep their politics to themselves and just teach us kids what we need to know. I kind of agree with Dad on that.

So as we were watching the hearings, Donna The Buster screamed out:

“Mr. Murryhill, Mr. Murryhill! There’s a big bug inside my desk!”

Well, I sit right near her and I saw the bug. It was just a tiny little ladybug. A really cute one too. I like ladybugs and my dad says they are good for the garden. Donna didn’t seem to care about that at all because she stood up and screamed and screamed for Mr. Murryhill to get the janitor to bring in some bug spray. Once again it seemed that she wanted to be the center of attention and once again all the other kids had to stop learning and listen to her. She’s a jerk-ball.

The funny thing is, from what I saw of the hearings, I couldn’t help but think that that FBI Comey guy was just like Donna Bustomonte. He seems to really like being the center of attention and causing everyone to look at him too. He didn’t seem to be throwing a loud tantrum like Donna The Buster does, but maybe just a more quiet, adult kind of tantrum. I told this to Mr. Murryhill, and he just stopped his paperwork for a moment and looked at me. I told him that it didn’t seem like our government was concentrating on getting anything done for the rest of us, and only paying attention to this Comey guy—just like Donna The Buster was doing to our class. I thought Mr. Murryhill was gonna get mad at me, but he didn’t. He didn’t have that teacher look on his face for a few moments… he kind of just smiled at me, then patted me on my head.

That smile didn’t last too long though because unfortunately Donna The Buster leaned back too far on her chair went smashing into the ground.  I think she was okay, but had a tiny little bump on her head. Once again she screamed like a nutball and made Mr. Murryhill call for the school nurse—and also demanded they get an ambulance. Then, you won’t believe it—the WHOLE local fire department showed up! It was nuts.

Well, I have to get going now, I have a TON of homework to do tonight. Thanks a bunch for nothing, Donna.

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