I’m Sick of Politics, so Let’s Talk About Cocktails with Clothespins Instead

It’s been a really long week so far, hasn’t it? Even with the Memorial Day holiday, the days have dragged on with news of the awful Kathy Griffin and the endless questions about the Paris Climate Agreement.

I’m over it. Let’s talk instead about why miniature wooden clothespins are showing up on cocktails across the country. At first, I thought perhaps they were some kind of sign that the imbiber is a SJW, the cocktail version of the infantile safety pin that appeared on coat lapels as a sign of the #Resistance right after Trump’s election.

My hopes of a new thing for which to mock liberals were quickly dashed when I learned that mini-clothespins are the trendy new way to add garnishments to adult beverages. At last (!), there’s a solution for all those pesky non-edibles that bartenders insist on adding to our favorite concoctions.

Carlie Steiner, co-owner of the DC restaurant Himitsu, is thrilled with the new fad, saying, “What I hate is when I’m drinking a cocktail and something completely inedible, such as an orange peel, comes floating over to your mouth, and you’re like, ‘Gross! I don’t want this in my mouth.’” Girl, I am so with you.

Bartenders like JP Fetherston of the Columbia Room love the craze, too, as it lets them add garnishments like mint to cocktails that aren’t ice filled. “I told my staff a lot of times: ‘No floaters,’” he says. “It has to look composed.” Looks like cocktail floaters have finally met their match.

So, be on the lookout for baby carrot tops and sprigs of baby’s breath blossoms being clipped to your drink at a bar near you.

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