Let's Talk About the Illuminati

A recent article of breathtaking stupidity was published here that purports to show that even in 1924 there was grave concern in our country about the Illuminati. “Here we see evidence that dates back to 1924, in whihc [sic] they very publicly laid out their plans for the future of the world,” the article states breathlessly.

This should be worrying to any American who values his or her freedom. And who among us does not? (Probably communists, that’s who!) This 1924 article was published in the Joplin Globe, a respected newspaper in America’s heartland, so we should take heed to what they were trying to tell us!

Except that the “article” is not really an article. It is an anonymous item that states the unsolicited opinion of one Fred R. Marvin, a man who devoted his life to speaking out against the evils of Socialism and Bolshevikism and gave speeches to Kiwanis clubs, Ladies’ Auxiliaries, and anyone else who would sit still long enough to listen to his nonsensical ramblings. The author of several tedious book and editor of a long-forgotten newspaper in New York, he was known to give his lectures to any group gathered anywhere, which is why he was a frequent lecturer at bus stops, delis, office lobbies, and Central Park where pigeons and squirrels gathered to eat their bread and nuts. (There is scant evidence of these lectures to squirrels and pigeons, but that can’t stop me from making the claim because I feel like doing so.)

But was he wrong? Who knows? He was an old crank that no one took seriously then, and the only ones who take him seriously now are gullible idiots who think the Illuminati are secretly pulling the strings behind every world event happening and look for any mention of it anywhere to prove that THEY ARE OUT THERE!!

Interestingly, Fred R. Marvin advocates for the suppression of free speech, a very Communist ideal. Quoting the 1924 Joplin Globe “article”: “There are, according to Marvin, no less than 611 publications circulated in this country for the purpose of making people believe something that is untrue regarding the government of this country.” The article goes on to say that people should “unite in eliminating them from our land….”

That’s the American spirit, Fred! Squelch any dissenting voice because democracy is weak and timid and can’t possible stand up to any disagreement—wait, I’m being told that democracy in America is actually strong enough to stand on its own and that the Illuminati is not a real thing but the fever dream of gullible idiots everywhere.

Well, maybe. I prefer to think that we are constantly under siege and need to never let down our guard against these shadowy organizations who are everywhere, probably disguising themselves as Kiwanis clubs, Ladies’ Auxillaries, and websites like this one.

A note about the stunningly inept aforementioned article: The author writes, “In 1936, the Fred R. Marvin (1868-1939) mentioned by the Globe would go on to write Fools Gold: An Expose of Un-American Activities and Political Action in the United States Since 1860 (which listed him as the “Senator from Alaska” although he was not a Senator and he apparently wasn’t from Alaska either, plus Alaska didn’t even become a state officially until 1959).”

Literally 2 minutes of research produced this PDF edition of the book with a note from the publisher, to wit:

The pen name, “The Senator from Alaska,” used by Mr . Fred R. Marvin for the first two editions of FOOLS GOLD resulted in so many requests from all parts of the country for better identification, that both the real and the pen name appear with this, the third, edition . The nom de plume, “The Senator from Alaska,” was used by Mr. Marvin more than three decades ago when he was a mining editor in the Pacific Northwest. His record as a writer is listed in “Who’s Who in America .”

Alaska didn’t even become a state until 1959. One might ask why. But then, one might already know why: the Illuminati!