Not Your Typical Testimony — Entering the Strait Gate

— by FollowsTheWay, April 7, 2024

 

Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: (Matt 7:13)

Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. (Matt 7:14)

Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able. (Luke 13:24)

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“strait” = Strong’s G4728 = narrow (from obstacles standing close about)

“strait” = Narrow, and difficult to pass. This word should not be confounded with straight. (American Tract Society Bible Dictionary)

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I received an email from a friend that contained a link to a video about prophecy. This friend has been following the way of Jesus for over thirty years. I thought the following email exchange would be a good way to present some of my “testimony” (with some edits for the sake of clarity).

Note that there is an Afterword at the end.

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My Reply to His Initial Email:

Well, today’s my birth day, so maybe it will be a re-birth day?

We shall see….thanks for sending!

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His Reply:

How old are you now.

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My Reply:

67

I forgot it was my birthday today, until [my wife] wished me a happy birthday this morning. 🙂

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His Reply:

I’m 57. I never pay much attention to birthdays.

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My Reply:

I was 57 on January 11, 2014.

At that time I was living out of my car, on the way.

I was in Johnson City, TN, and just finishing the holiday season, working as a UPS driver assistant.

I would usually sleep in a Wal-Mart parking lot, then get up in the morning, freshen up in the Wal-Mart bathroom, put on my UPS uniform inside the car, and then meet the UPS driver in his UPS truck. Get in the truck, and work all day with him. Get dropped back off at my car. Remove my UPS uniform inside the car, and get ready for “bed” (in the back of the 19-y-o Buick station wagon I was living in). Then get up the next morning, and do it all again. Probably did it for about a month that winter, Dec 2013-Jan 2014.

I was flat broke before getting that UPS job. I was picking up old McDonald’s cups off the ground and the trash, looking for these “free drink” thingies that might be attached to the cup, so I could get a coffee at McDonald’s the next day, or ask people for any extra change so I could get $1.10 for a large coffee. I slept so much better the night before when I had either the $1.10 or the “free drink” thingies.

I would go to McDonald’s first thing in the morning, and sit there until about noon reading my Bible, and drinking coffee (free refills). And it was warm. I just tried to lay low, away from people, and mind my own business, so I wouldn’t get tossed out (only one very small incident, thank God).

The UPS job stopped after the holidays, and I lived out of the car in Johnson City until I REALLY ran out of money. I finally bit the bullet; and, kicking and screaming, went into the Johnson City homeless shelter, “The Haven” it was called.

They had Job 31:32 on a sign across the front entrance:

The stranger did not lodge in the street: but I opened my doors to the traveller. (Job 31:32)

Oh my God! I woke up in a bed and got a real meal! I was no longer kicking and screaming. I was so GRATEFUL to the Lord! Wow!

I stayed there a while; a month or so I think, can’t remember exactly. Got a job working for a man who came by the shelter looking for a helper to do some tasks for him (“Mr. Jimmy”…a whole story in and of itself).

With the money I made with Mr. Jimmy (and a gift from someone, another story), I left the shelter that spring (2014), and drove off and lived out of the car for a while, traveling the southeast US. Then the car started acting up. It seemed major. I had no money to fix it, so decided to buy a backpack at a local Wal-Mart where I was (Virginia), and donate the car to a Goodwill (another story).

After donating the car, I walked out of the Goodwill with my backpack, and made it to a local trail that I knew about, that cut across Virginia toward another city 50-60 miles away I think.

Lived out of the backpack until the end of August; walking across TN, VA, NC, WV and DC, and finally landing in another homeless shelter in Reston, Virginia, just in time for the Labor Day weekend, Aug/Sept, 2014.

Worked a food processing job through the homeless shelter for a month or so, until the company that was shuttling us to/from the homeless shelter to the job, offered me a driving job.

I took the driving job, which was driving an elementary school van, driving kids to/from a private school in Virginia. The money from this job allowed me to get out of the homeless shelter, and rent a room (I was in this same room for 6 years until leaving to be with [my current wife]). The company allowed me to keep the van with me where I lived, so I had a set of wheels to drive! Praise the Lord!

I moved into the room at the end of October, 2014. The landlord let me in early from the November 1st start date (another praise-the-Lord). At this point, I’m still 57.

While driving the children one day, I noticed a training truck for a local CDL driver’s school while I was on the highway….hmmm…. I said, “Lord, if you want me to do that, you have got to give me a sign.” So, I kept driving my route, and when I turned off for my exit from the highway, there was the CDL training truck right in front of me, stopped at the light.

So, I said, Ok Lord…I’ll look into it…….Fast-forward: On Dec 31st, 2014, the day before all kinds of new CDL rules were going to come into effect in Virginia, I passed the Virginia CDL driving test. The CDL tester guy turned to me after my test run with him (not knowing yet if I had passed or failed), and he said, “Happy new year. You passed.”

PRAISE GOD!

So, that’s what I did in the 57th year of my (so-called) life.

The above timeline might be a little out-of-order, and I’m rushing to write this because [my wife] will be out soon for our daily prayer covering, but the gist of it is on target I think.

Ten years later, I have no idea how I did anything of that; but of course, I do know, the Lord. None of it was me.

I think it’s good to be reminded of the great things the Lord has done for us, yes?

Thanks for bringing up that age, and triggering these memories.

And this was only a drop in the bucket…

God bless…

Unto thee, O God, do we give thanks, unto thee do we give thanks: for that thy name is near thy wondrous works declare. (Ps 75:1)

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His Reply:

That’s a great testimony! I never knew? What kind of work did you do most of your life?

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My Reply:

(Sorry, I wrote a book it seems. Hopefully, of some interest).

Other than the Lord, [my wife] knows more than anyone.

I have mainly played with computers my entire life. If I was good at anything, it was math and reading.

I graduated from college in 1980 (Virginia Tech) with a B.S. (ha!) degree in Finance. I was in the engineering program, but flunked out after 2 years due to drinking/partying. I went from straight A’s to almost straight F’s on my last report card. I transferred to the (much easier) business school in order to graduate in something.

Since I had a lot of math and some computer programming while in the college engineering program, I was able to land my first job out of college at a company called “Actuarial Computer Technology, Inc.”

It was located in Maryland, the DC suburbs. We were known by the initials “ACTI”.

In the early 1980’s, ACTI moved me out to Los Angeles to work in its L.A. office. I married before transferring, had 2 children while out in CA (well, my wife had 2 children) before moving back to VA in 1988 (just missing the big 1989 CA/SanFran earthquake).

I had two other jobs out there in CA. One as a pension consultant, the other doing computer programming for a small pension record-keeping software company.

This latter company allowed me to go through a 30-day intensive outpatient alcohol rehab program; which was after work hours until 10pm. I now believe this was all from the Lord. I wasn’t a Christian at the time (the exact opposite actually), so never thought that back then. It was like the Lord had taken me across the country and taken me away from all of my partying friends, to help me make the change.

The same company also allowed me to work from home once I moved back to VA. I worked remotely for a couple of years, and then took a break. I spent full-time with my (now) three children and started a “fathering” organization of local dads.

I went back to school and got a Master’s degree in “Psychological Services” and thought I wanted to be a substance abuse counselor. After graduating (I think it was 1997, not sure) I got a job at a local county mental health facility (mostly dealing with people on probation), and after about 9 months—it was a bit psycho(!) [EDIT: the management, not the clients!]—I quit to escape and get back into computers.

I started my own little one-man show, doing mobile IT support for small businesses and residences. At that time, I also went through a Microsoft Systems Engineering training program.

After a few years of that, with my Dad’s help, I bought into an IT franchise. It never really did well, too much overhead, and not enough revenue. I was going to have to shut it down, and then 2008 happened with all of the banking/financial problems, and that was the final nail in the franchise business.

I was in financial trouble (first time in my life–God beginning to work–bring me down). I had a big Mercedes RV/mobile office vehicle as part of the business and I couldn’t make the payments on it. Well, guess what happens when you stop making loan payments on a vehicle?

With me, what happened was: There was a knock at the door one evening. And two of the biggest guys I had ever seen filled the doorway when I opened it. Rough looking guys. And as I looked past them in the background, out on the street, I spotted my BIG HUGE VAN jacked up on one of those tow trucks that tow semi tractors.

(I think my mouth was gaping open, literally speechless).

And one of the guys said to me: “If you give us the keys, we will let you remove everything that is yours out of the van, before we take it.”

I said, DEAL.

I got a Costco-sized box of trash bags, and went out to the van, opened all of the doors and just started stuffing everything into these large trash bags. I had TONS of stuff in the van (it was 23-feet long). When I was done, there was about a 20′-30′ line of trash bags along the sidewalk. God knows what the neighbors must have thought to see all of this.

I was literally laid bare before the congregation. I lived in a rowhouse/townhouse, so there were neighbors everywhere.

Then the repo men pulled out of the parking lot with “my” van, and I was left there in front of all the neighbors with trash bags lined up on the sidewalk.

No one came out to help me; but I was grateful they didn’t, because I was really embarrassed. (Humbled by the Lord of course).

The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility. (Prov 15:33)

So, I just started carrying them into my place, and filled my place with trash bags of computer gear, etc.

Little did I know; this was the beginning of the end to my agnosticism.

Anyway, to make a long story shorter, I ended up leaving VA and moving into my folks’ place in North Carolina. I was separated from my wife at this point. Everything basically falling apart (the Lord). Everything taken away, except a small rented van of stuff that I drove to NC.

Obama was on the scene around then, 2008/2009. I couldn’t believe how everyone fell for him. I started reading the Bible. There had to be some GOOD somewhere in this world, I thought. And the Bible was the only thing I could think of to turn to (we never went to church growing up).

I think of September, 2009 as the time I became a Christian. I contacted my separated wife (now separated about 5 years, she was in Virginia), and asked her if she would like to get back together in a Biblical marriage. She declined. We had “grown too far apart,” she said, and we ended up divorcing.

In my first 3 years, after becoming a Christian, I attended:

1. A house church (one of Chuck Baldwin’s “Black Regiment Preachers”)
2. A “virtual” Baptist church over the Internet (prophecy pastor)
3. An online fellowship where the teacher (claimed) to have read the Bible 200+ times
4. A big non-denominational church (1.5-hour drive away)
5. A small Baptist church (my last church before “entering in“)
6. I dabbled a little in some “Hebrew roots” things, but the Lord would have none of that.

I met a life-long Christian woman at the house church, who I would end up marrying.

My first job after becoming a Christian was at a retirement community. My wife-to-be worked there as a nurse. I was paid $8.50/hour to be a “Senior Companion.” This meant I would help residents one-on-one in whatever they needed.

I ended up working primarily with one gentleman (“Mr. Fitz”). It was a very upscale place. Folks there were very well-to-do. I drove him around in a Lincoln Continental most days, and we went wherever he wanted to go, including eating out (he would buy my meals). He required a wheelchair and was on oxygen.

I got my CNA certificate during this time. It was all very humbling. I washed men’s feet!

I also got a job there as a security guard. They were both part-time jobs.

Then one day, the HR Director said to me that they were looking for a part-time IT support person for the retirement community. They had been using outside IT contractors to do all of the work up until then, but thought it was time for them to bring some of it in-house.

The HR Director was familiar with my resume from my 2 other jobs there, and knew I had some IT experience, so that is why she told me about the job, in case I might want to apply.

I ended up getting the job, started part-time; but I would end up working longer hours most of the time, so I dropped off the other 2 part-time jobs.

Soon, they decided to make it a full-time position, so I went full-time.

In the Fall of 2012 the DarkLight teaching came across my path. I read it, and everything changed.

Turns out, Jesus told us exactly how we can KNOW WE ARE SAVED, and I wasn’t saved at all!

Better to find out now, than later!

Alleluia, that, at least I KNEW I wasn’t saved. Better to find out now, than later!

Luke 13:6-9:

He spake also this parable; A certain man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard; and he came and sought fruit thereon, and found none. (Luke 13:6)

Then said he unto the dresser of his vineyard, Behold, these THREE YEARS I come seeking fruit on this fig tree, and find none: cut it down; why cumbereth it the ground? (Luke 13:7)

And he answering said unto him, Lord, let it alone this year also, till I shall dig about it, and dung it [THE LORD USING THE DARKLIGHT]: (Luke 13:8)

And if it bear fruit, well: and if not, then after that thou shalt cut it down. (Luke 13:9)

After reading the DarkLight, and taking it to heart, I didn’t know what “to do.” I read it. It lined up perfectly with the Bible. But what do I DO?

Turns out (as you know), that the Lord will put in front of us what to DO.

One of the first things was:

I had to come out of the Baptist church I was attending. It’s not the right way. I realized I was not saved, though I had been told I was saved in every church I had been in over the prior 3 years.

I would have been considered a Bible and church-going warrior during these three years. By ALL standards of the modern day church and its (false) salvation doctrines, there was no question about it, that I was saved. Well, it turned out that this was all lies. I had attended fundamentalist, “hard preaching,” old hymn, King James Bible churches and fellowships; and while we all thought we were saved; we were, in truth, part of the church of Laodicea and—more frightening—DID NOT EVEN KNOW IT.

Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked: (Rev 3:17)

I had to come out of this church. It was not the true doctrine. I emailed the pastor and told him that this was not the right way, the EZ way is not the right way. We are to enter the strait gate and walk the narrow/difficult way.

The response from the pastor and the church was that they would “pray for me.”

I tried explaining the way to my 40-year Christian wife, and basically she would have none of it. We stopped church together for several weeks, until she finally said, “I’m going back to church.”

Ha!

It was only the beginning.

The next thing the Lord put in front of me to DO (I asked, didn’t I?): I needed to quit my IT Manager job and FIND THE LORD.

I was very busy, and very occupied with my IT job. I needed to get out of this job, and perhaps find a less-intense job; or whatever, so I could concentrate better on finding the Lord.

And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them: (Matt 13:7)

The walk to my boss’ office with my letter of resignation was the longest walk I think I have ever made. I had been managing the IT roll-out for the retirement community’s “Phase II” construction (digital phones, fiber optics, campus-wide wi-fi, etc.); which included a brand, spanking new office and server room for me. And now I was giving it all up when it was just about finished. I would never step foot in that new office, but I had to go.

I gave my 30-day notice (30 days was in my contract) to my boss (the best boss I’d ever had), and he kept wanting to offer me more money to stay. But it wasn’t about money. I had to find the Lord.

About the 3rd week into the 30-day notice, the HR Director (a new one) asked me to come to her office at 3pm because she had “printer problems.” I went down there at 3pm and there she was, along with my boss, sitting in a chair. While raising my eyebrows at the situation, behind me came the head of security (ex-DC cop, who I used to work for in my security job! we were “buddies”!).

My boss said to me, “You must have known this was coming?”

“No, what was coming??”

They were terminating me before the 30 days were up, and security was escorting me to my office to get my stuff, and then escorting me out to my car….gone!

First, my wife turned on me. And then my job and the people at my job.

I was being persecuted for entering the strait gate! I don’t know that I realized it at the time, but I should have leapt for joy I suppose. 🙂

Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man’s sake. (Luke 6:22)

Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in heaven: for in the like manner did their fathers unto the prophets. (Luke 6:23)

This would have been March, 2013, when I left the IT Manager job.

My wife and I never did see eye-to-eye on the strait gate/narrow way. But God was with me. [She later divorced me in June, 2020].

It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. (Prov 21:19)

So July 3rd, 2013, I packed up the 19-y-o Buick station wagon (my wife’s old car), gave my wife my (perfect condition) Camry LXE, and headed out on the road.

Through desire a man, having separated himself, seeketh and intermeddleth with all wisdom. (Prov 18:1)

Not My Actual Vehicle, But Same Make/Model/Year/Color

The Buick had a broken air conditioner and 4 broken electric windows all the way around. I held the 4 windows up with duct tape. Southern heat in the summertime can be pretty bad, but it’s the humidity that is the killer.

I drove this station wagon like this, all shut up, with only the outside air coming in through the front vents, and 2 small manual vent windows at the rear of the station wagon open. I guess I got used to it…a little.

[Later, when I couldn’t afford motels anymore, and I slept in Wal-Mart parking lots, I would roast like a pig in a convection oven, when the hot asphalt would put off its heat in the night-time.]

Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: (1Pet 4:12)

But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy. (1Pet 4:13)

Getting back to the story, after I left my home on July 3rd (btw, my ex-wife-to-be and I never spoke again):

First stop was Mt. Airy, North Carolina, where I stayed at a small motel, to wake up to the 4th of July celebration. Mt. Airy is where Andy Griffith grew up and the TV show’s town of “Mayberry” is supposed to be modeled after it.

That was how it all started….

Had many adventures until winding up that winter (2013/2014) in Johnson City, TN, which is where my prior email story began I think, with the UPS assistant driver job.

Johnson City, TN is where I was born, so I really thought the Lord was going to born me again there! But no….

So, in sum, mostly I’ve played with computers, but done many other things. I never knew what I wanted to be “when I grew up.” I was always testing “careers”, bouncing from one thing to another. I didn’t mention how many majors I had in college, switching around; including within the engineering program.

I never really fit in. Only with my partying buddies did I fit in, but I was out of that and it was no good anyway.

I never really seemed to take pleasure at things other people seemed to enjoy so much. For example, I had friends who LOVED to go skiing, they just loved it. Well, I skied a little bit, but I never LOVED it.

I was always searching for something….something…but I didn’t know what.

Perhaps it was because I was never of this world, not really…

For we are strangers before thee, and sojourners, as were all our fathers: our days on the earth are as a shadow, and there is none abiding. (1Chr 29:15)

Now I believe I might know what I’ve been searching for:

I have been looking for a FATHER in all the wrong places; looking for an earthly father, rather than the Heavenly one: God the Father, via God the Son and via God the Holy Spirit; and of course, the divine agape love that comes from that narrow way walk of Jesus.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. (Jas 1:17)

Of his own will begat he us with the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures. (Jas 1:18)

That’s been my problem all along I think. I just never knew it:

Looking to be reconciled to the Father through the Son and Holy Spirit.

Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. (John 14:6)

God has extended his right hand of reconciliation (Jesus Christ) to us in the world, and our job is to take him up on his gracious offer (via the strait gate/narrow way), and be reconciled back to God.

For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye through his poverty might be rich. (2Cor 8:9)

Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ’s stead, be ye reconciled to God. (2Cor 5:20)

So for now, those on the narrow way, continue to wait….for the glorious appearing…..

Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; (Titus 2:13)

Thanks for asking me the question!

God bless…

Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; (1Pet 1:13)

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Afterword

I was not a life-long church-goer like many Christians. When I came into the church in 2009 I quickly learned that many Christians have something called a “testimony.”

What is this “testimony”?

From what I could gather, one’s “Christian testimony” was the person’s testimonial description of their salvation experience; being born again.

Since everyone in the fellowships I attended told me I was “born again,” I figured I better put together one of these “testimony” things too. After all, people were asking.

How did they “know” I was born again? Why did I eventually start agreeing with them?

Well, they said based upon how much I was reading the Bible; how much I was attending fellowship gatherings; how I had repented from so many things. My friends and activities had changed.

I had “faith” and readily confessed the name of Jesus Christ as my saviour.

I found online checklists that I passed with flying colors, like this one:

HOW CAN I KNOW IF I AM SAVED? A SELF-TEST [Beware: False Doctrine]

I MUST be saved they said; and I was eventually carried away by their dissimulation. All my fault though. I had rebelled against the Lord.

When I first became a Christian (Fall, 2009) I started by reading my Bible all by myself. I was floating on air for several months, just me and the Lord. It was wonderful. I felt like I was not even of this world.

But sometime in those first months I got the question in my mind: “Shouldn’t I be going to a church? Isn’t that what Christians do?”

Yea, hath God said?

I had heard about Pastor Chuck Baldwin’s “Black Regiment Preacher” directory; and consulted that, and found a local preacher. I saw the schedule and showed up one Friday evening for a prayer meeting.

Prov 7:7-9:

And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding, (Prov 7:7)

Passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house, (Prov 7:8)

In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night: (Prov 7:9)

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Today’s apostate churches are the “strange woman” of the Bible, a harlot church. She is all over the Proverbs, as a warning for us to stay away from the broad, false ways, and keep to the narrow, true way, the only way Jesus gave us.

So, this “testimony” blog post of mine is “not your typical testimony” because it is not a testimony of “being saved/born again” like the vast majority of Christians give (falsely as it turns out; they are actually giving testimonies of CONVERSION, not authentic REGENERATION).

My testimony here is a testimony of a FALSE SALVATION and the Lord having mercy on me to pull me out of the fire, realizing that I was not saved at all.

Jesus told us exactly how we know whether we are TRULY born again. It is in the Book of John.

Strange as it might sound, this realization was the best day of my “life.”

Now I could get busy doing what the Lord commanded us all to do:

Search out and find the Lord Jesus Christ with all of our hearts, souls, minds, and strength.

Prov 8:32-35:

Now therefore hearken unto me, O ye children: for blessed are they that keep my ways. (Prov 8:32)

Hear instruction, and be wise, and refuse it not. (Prov 8:33)

Blessed is the man that heareth me, watching daily at my gates, waiting at the posts of my doors. (Prov 8:34)

For whoso findeth me findeth life, and shall obtain favour of the LORD. (Prov 8:35)

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Download a Most-Helpful Guide to the Narrow Way and True, Biblical Salvation, Written by a Man Who Walked it to the End: NarrowWayTruth.com

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