Just Jay

 One of my best friends in High School, Jay and I have endured nearly 40 years of friendship. Through failed relationships, two weeks as runaways in a blue Chevy van, (I kid you not) cross country moves, the deaths of parents and siblings, the birth of children, road trips too numerous and dangerous to go into…we are still good buddies.

But every time he comes to visit…he has to WORK!  He and his equally hard working mother manage a very busy masonry, refractory and historical building restoration business. You can see what they do RIGHT HERE. Jay always tells me he needs to come to the farm to relax but frankly, that is not a real word for him.   The guy is either dead asleep or running at top speed, there is no such thing as a relaxed Jay. But really, who am I to complain? If he’s willing to spruce up the farm why should I get in his way?

Because it’s makes me feel so guilty, that’s why. I’ll brew a big pot of coffee (first mistake) and as I’m settling in for a nice “lets catch up conversation” he’s pushing back the porch chair saying, “So, what are we going to do today?” Now sometimes I can corral him in the car long enough for an extended drive trapping him into calm activity, but not this time.

So when he pressured me for a task, and not wanting him to start digging a pond in the front yard complete with a spouting whale fountain, as he’s been threatening to do for the last 19 years, I suggested we go get a few annuals and spruce up my very plain front porch.

SIX hours later…we had hauled wheelbarrows full of compost to the front yard, filled numerous mismatched planters and objects that were not planters but became planters with almost 100 red begonias into various pots, drug out miscellaneous items from the house and barn to put in an old cupboard destined for the burn pile and creatively hung a flag in preparation for the Fourth of July.

By the time the porch was done I was ready for a nap and Jay was ready for…more. So I put the weed wacker  in his hands and pointed him towards high grass, around the trees, around the sandbox, around the back deck, in between the rose bushes, in my bathroom and kitchen, wherever.

 Like a lethal weapon in his hands it was. I’ve never seen trees actually lean AWAY from the weed wacker before. But it did them no good. What he could not kill with his orange stringed gas fueled monster he hacked away with long clippers.

All the weeds, low lying limbs and fast growing tree suckers were quickly cut down to size. And then do you know what the amazing Jay did?

He picked up after himself.

So all you high school kiddies who think your buddies will be your best friends for ever (someone should think of a cute abbreviation for that term) just ask yourselves…will this guy or gal be around in my senior years to do yard work?

If not,dump them. Dump them now.