I Am Not Enlightened

I am not enlightened.

I may have thought I was at one point in my life… but even after all that I have been through I know that I still have much to learn and unlearn. I am not perfect. I may have thought I was at one point in my life… but I still go through episodes of negative thinking and I still catch myself failing at things, making terrible mistakes, doing things I might regret in the future.

I am not who you think I am. I’m not who I think I am. I morph ever so often, and my intentions now may be different from my intentions in the future. I still get attached , emotional, and exhibit some learned helplessness. I don’t know much about the things I post but I want to learn and experience them. I don’t know what intuition means anymore. I am just guessing most of the time, just taking risks, jumping into things even if it could harm me in the long run.

But even with all of this, I feel happier. Because I am okay with it. I trust that all of it are helping me grow. I love all aspects of me. My strong self, my fragile self, my impulsive self, my overly emotional self, my doubtful self, my confident self, my creative self, my expressive self, my bewildered self, my grief stricken, helpless self, my enthusiastic self, my innocent self, my perverted self, my hopeful and prayful self, my terrified self, my social self, my solitary self, I love all of me…. and I no longer need your approval.

But I want to share this joy of self discovery with you, and I hope you learn to love yourself too… I hope you see yourself in me, as I have learned to see myself in you.

I love you for your strength. I love you for your weakness.