It’s all faked – even death

by Alen Mischael Vukelić

Sometimes I wish I had the perception of a 5-year-old. I still have a vivid memory of that state, in which everything that happens is more or less just a phenomenon – nothing really to be concerned about.

When I look at it now, I see how liberating it is to be without any opinions or concepts – I’m just there, a witness, monitoring every movement, every action without attaching any specific meaning to it.

Good mood or bad mood

I can still see the people in my head, having fierce, loud debates on topics, I didn’t know anything about. However, the laughter, the anger, I can remember, because those are emotions, and for understanding emotions, you don’t need to have experience.

One thing, however, was a miracle to me – how fast people got carried away with their emotions, because of a single remark or gesture. I always hoped things wouldn’t turn out too bad, because then everybody would get in a fight and my father would decide that we had to leave immediately.

My calculation was easy; as long as the adults were in a good mood, I knew I would be able to play with the other kids, but the moment things got tense – the game was over.

Playing their game

I gave this as an introduction to an understanding which arose in me on my way home. When we are kids; we wish to grow up as fast as possible to be able to take part in those conversations, to be taken seriously as an adult.

In fact, we want to have knowledge like they do, and have an own opinion to defend. Until then, we are not allowed to have an opinion, so we wait – impatiently – for the day to finally interact in this game which we are not allowed to play.

I had, of course, no idea that this whole game wasn’t, in fact, no game, but an exhibition of disturbed personalities whose only aim was to be ‘right’. They never cared about what anybody said, but waited for the smallest possibility to roar out their claustrophobic viewpoints.  READ MORE