The Ego is the Source of Suffering AND Contentment

1st May 2015

By Phillip J. Watt

Guest Writer for Wake Up World

“Ego is the immediate dictate of human consciousness.” ~ Max Planck

One could argue, such as the Buddha, that the ego is the source of all the suffering on an individual level. Yet the ego is not just the cause of one’s pain; as the source of one’s sense of Self, it’s also the key to where our uniqueness, contentment and happiness is found.

I Am Me

So, what is our ego? For the purpose of this article, when I say ego, I mean the part of us that thinks and feels “I am Me”.

To elaborate, it’s the beliefs that we have about ourselves. It’s all of our thoughts, feelings and memories. It’s what explains us as separate from everything else, including our body. Therefore, it is the combination of our rational, moral, intuitive and instinctual capacities.

That means that even the ways in which we experience love and conceptualise the unity of existence, is filtered through our egoic self. This is contrary to what is usually discussed about the ego. It is sometimes exclusively portrayed as the negative, self-absorbed aspect of the personality. But the ego can also be open, kind and giving; it is everything, both negative and positive, about who we are.

What, then, is not our ego?

“Enlightenment is ego’s ultimate disappointment.” ― Chögyam Trungpa

It’s our ground state – our pure self. Our individuality is a flame in the eternal fire and our ego is our flame’s heat. The non-ego part of us is our flame – or our spirit – before the ego starts to define it, as well as the entire fire. The fire is of course the unity of reality which different people have different terms for, such as God, the quantum zero-point field or the spiritual conception of cosmic consciousness.

No matter which way we sway, it’s not our awareness or our flame which is our ego, but everything we define our individual awareness as. What we identify as characteristics and beliefs about ourselves are reflections of our ego. It is all our personality traits – both good and bad – which means it can be functional and healthy, or the opposite.

What is the role of the ego?

“The Ego is a veil between humans and God’.” ― Rumi

Our ego is obviously necessary for many reasons. It helps us to maintain a separate self, even if it is fundamentally illusory, so that we can survive and potentially thrive in the third dimensional construct that we find ourselves in. So it’s not going anywhere, nor do we want it to. Given that what we conceive as ourselves, is in fact our ego, we just need to work out how to manage it, or ourselves, in a functional way.

For example, our ego talks to itself. It says: “Hey mate, you’re being foolish.” It also says that we’re being productive, such as “I’m glad you stopped and thought for a moment before you did something silly”. Our ego-voice-of-reason tells our ego-instinct that something is or isn’t the right thing to do. The opposite is also true; our ego instinct can tell our ego rationale that we’re over-thinking in a way that is contradictory to our feelings.

Effectively, our rational ego-self trains itself. It can say: “You’re being illogical, how about you be more reasonable because you’re acting poorly.” It also trains other areas: “You know being angry and sad hasn’t worked well for you in the past, so maybe it’s time to think and feel differently.” It continues:“So now that you say you want to change, I’ll monitor the situation and make sure you do, because we both know how many times you’ve said that before.”

How does our ego make us suffer?

“The weak are dominated by their ego, the wise dominate their ego, and the intelligent are in a constant struggle against their ego.” ― Hamza Yusuf

All egos have their flaws, which is perfectly okay. However, there’s nothing wrong with developing it either. If our ego is continually angry, self-absorbed, depressed, stubborn or an array of other problematic mind and behavioural states, then there is a clear need for some self-improvement.

That doesn’t mean that we hate these aspects of ourselves, we can love and embrace everything about us even if we want to evolve in certain ways.

For example, if our ego gets really upset about something not going its way or has an unjustified sense of entitlement, then it is dysfunctional and self-abusive. The same goes if it is more likely to react instantly to situations instead of accessing its executive thinking capacity to respond appropriately to the circumstances. If it rubs a lot of people the wrong way, instead of the rare few (well, we can’t please everybody), then it’s not just causing others to suffer, but also itself.

The ego treats itself in different ways, such as being self-harming or self-benefiting. So if it is always hurting itself over and over again then it’s probably setting itself up for failure with too many expectations and too many desires. This might be the case for some of us, although there is a path to relief; all it needs is to give itself some tough love and a little nurturing, however this is a challenging and ongoing process that requires a sustained and self-aware focus.

What is a strong ego?

“If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that… I believe in what I do, and I’ll say it.” ― John Lennon

A big ego isn’t problematic until it executes priorities at the cost of itself and others. There is an old conception that a big ego is inherently delusional and full of itself, however this is just a strong ego that is unhealthy and dysfunctional. A strong ego can have a big confidence in and understanding of itself, but still be healthy; big ego problems arise simply when it is closed to change.

In other words, a big ego might be extremely strong-willed and have conviction in its stance, but for its own health and for the positive impact on others, it needs to undertake a journey of true self-empowerment.

There are many people who have super strong egos, even those people who might be considered an introvert. It really is determined by their complexity and degree of self-determination. Nevertheless, some strong egos have big ego problems and others don’t; generally the difference comes down to whether they truly and deeply care about other people or not. This is obviously highly influenced by their philosophy on reality.

What does a healthy ego look like?

“How to get rid of ego as dictator and turn it into messenger and servant and scout, to be in your service, is the trick.” ― Joseph Campbell

A functional ego is balanced; it can be a confident, crazy and playful extrovert, but at other times it can also be a creative or vulnerable introvert. It’s a personality which understands itself, with all its strengths and flaws, yet it’s neither excessively self-absorbed nor insensitive to the needs of the people around it.

It is kind and loving. Not just to others, but itself too. It genuinely cares for its world and will sacrifice its desires for another’s benefit. It also lives on the edge and tests its boundaries, but it does so as respectfully as possible.

To be a healthy ego it definitely needs to be open to change, as well as crave it. It needs to be aware of the subconscious drivers that influences its conscious world. It needs to let go of strict future expectations, as well as heal its past traumas on an ongoing basis, which is why meditation can be so effective for ensuring a healthy and functional ego.

CONTINUE READING:

Previous articles by Phil Watt:

• Permaculture – What Is It and Why Is It Important?
• 8 Emotional Patterns That Can Disturb Our Inner Peace
• 8 More Emotional Patterns That Can Disturb Our Inner Peace
• Finding Our Peace: The Art of Loving Our Experience
• A Day in the Life of Mindfulness
• Nurture Your Inner Child and Free Your Inner Guru
• The New Age of a United Global Culture
• The Orchestra of Reality – a Journey through Science, Spirituality and Symbolism
• A Guide to Unity: Transcending the Illusion of Disconnection
• Matter vs. Spirit – A Guide to Participating in the Greatest Debate Ever

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