The Drama Triangle: Are You a Savior, Victim, Perpetrator… or All Three?

29th August 2016

By Lissa Rankin

Guest writer for Wake Up World

Savior, Victim, Perpetrator: The Three Roles of Victimhood

Unless we heal our core wounds, most of us spend our lives busy playing either savior, victim, perpetrator, or – very often – all three. Let me give you an example of what I mean by that. Meet Jill, who is simultaneously the savior, the victim, and the perpetrator.

The Savior

Jill had a rough childhood and grew up feeling unworthy. Her core wound is the limiting belief “I’m not good enough.” So to slap a Band-aid on her core wound ,and prove to herself and the world that she’s valuable and worthy, she become the world’s most helpful person. When she was young, she helped other kids with their homework, gave money to people she barely knew, volunteered at the nursing home, and doted on her best friend like she was royalty. When she got older, she started a nonprofit aimed at helping save the world.

When anyone winds up in trouble, they call Jill. If you’ve got cancer, Jill will drive you to your chemo appointment. If you’re in jail, Jill will bail you out. If someone broke your heart, Jill will clear her schedule so you can spend hours on the phone baring your soul while she listens. Jill brings food to those who are grieving, raises her hand at church anytime something needs to be done, and drops everything when her kids call asking for anything.

Once Jill’s kids left home, Jill took on three foster children who were crack babies. She has started savings accounts so she can help pay for her foster kids to go to college. She leads a camp for kids who have cancer every summer – without getting paid for it.

Jill is a good person, isn’t she? In fact, many people call her their “savior.” If you’re in need, Jill will swoop right in and help you.

CONTINUE READING:

Recommended reading from Lissa Rankin:

• Relationships on the Spiritual Path
• The “Space Between Stories”
• How to Make Your Body Ripe for Miracles
• Are You “Spiritual But Not Religious?”
• A Lesson In Empathy
• 9 Practical Tips to Help You Find Your Calling
• 10 Fun Ways to Reduce Your Cortisol Levels
• 6 Stories To Make You Believe In The Power Of The Mind To Heal You
• 7 Tips For Finding Your Tribe
• 10 Surprising Things That Trigger “Fight-Or-Flight”
• 8 Steps to Turn Conflict Into Spiritual Gold: A Practice

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