10 Tips for Fully Feeling What Hurts Right Now, Without Going Insane

February 9th, 2017

By Lissa Rankin

Guest writer for Wake Up World

Stuff hurts right now. A lot of stuff hurts. If you’re not feeling at least some pain right now, you’ve probably numbed out with an addiction, psychiatric medication, dissociation from your body and your emotions, or maybe even some form of spiritual bypass. If you’ve numbed out, that’s understandable. You’re human. That’s what humans do when they don’t have the emotional resilience to handle a broken heart. But, whether chemically or emotionally, if you’ve closed your heart so it doesn’t have to feel so much pain, it also cuts out your capacity to feel joy, to play, to love, to laugh, to feel gratitude, to cry at the heart-opening beauty of a sunset.

Life tests the resilience of the heart, not because there’s some punishing God who wants to see what you’re made of, but because our souls choose human experiences that teach us emotional resilience and help break the heart open. Emotional resilience is the capacity to feel the full range of human emotions all the way into our guts without shutting down or numbing out, to bench press our capacity to fully feel grief without going insane or to fully feel rage without murdering someone.

When you lack emotional resilience, you typically can’t handle intense waves of pleasure or heart-bursting joy either. By numbing out, you literally sabotage your own life (consciously or unconsciously) so that you don’t have to fully feel love, gratitude, joy, and pleasure. If the heart lacks resilience, it might feel strong, because it can withstand even the most torturous pain, but it’s essentially weak because the capacity to feel is so limited. The heart is in prison, and the side effect is a dullness of spirit that leads to chronic illness, depression, addiction, and physical pain.

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Recommended articles by Lissa Rankin:

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