Grief-Work: Healing the Shadows of Trauma and Pain

October 17th, 2017

By Jack Adam Weber

Contributing writer for Wake Up World

When you live with, or are raised by, people who are mean, unreasonable, abusive, and who can’t attune to your needs you learn to cope to survive emotionally, psychically, and even physically. Such coping methods are not rooted in sustainable loving but in protection and defensiveness.

This happens as a child and as adults. As adults, we choose to live with and to couple with those who remind us of our dysfunctional and hurtful past. However painful this reality is, it is comfortable to us. It is familiar, almost familial. Encountering what we never had can be scarier than the same suffering over and over.

This need not be a mistake, if we can see it for what it is: an opportunity to become more conscious of our healing and to liberate ourselves the rest of the way — from painful patterns and an encrusted heart of pain unto the glorious person we sense ourselves to be.

When we grow up with people who hurt us more than love us, we learn to lie, shut down, not give a crap, to condemn people generally. We develop beliefs that all or most people are evil and out to hurt us. The encrustations around our hearts for truer loving become thick and tough to break down.

CONTINUE READING:

Recommended articles by Jack Adam Weber:

• BREAKTHROUGH — Now Is Our Time
• The Modern Shaman: Fierce Love at the Frontier of Madness
• When We Love an Addict – Courage and the Limits of Compassion
• Arrogance in Relationships: How to Deal With and Heal It
• 11 Reasons Why Hippies (Not Psychos) Should Rule the World
• ReVOLUTION: When Enough is Enough
• Sex – Truth and Dare, Pleasure and Purpose
• Relationships: The Costs of Staying When We Should Leave
• Yin Yang — Ancient Wisdom for Personal and Planetary Transformation
• Heartbreak – Loving Ourselves Through Difficult Times
• SELF-HONESTY: Where All Healing Begins

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