Why We Keep Ourselves ‘Small’

April 13th, 2018

By Victoria Fann

Guest writer for Wake Up World

As I moved from a cozy little “treehouse” studio into a three-bedroom house recently, I became aware of a common thread running through my life as well as through the lives of many of the people in my life: the tendency to play small. I’m seeing it in clients, family members, friends and within my greater community, both online and offline. In spite of invitations and opportunities to grow, expand and embrace life in a bigger way, many people prefer to stick with what they know.

As typically happens, this made me curious. What is this playing small about?

Several insights emerged in response to this inquiry. Most of them were fairly obvious such as the fear of the unknown or the fear of failure. But those answers didn’t quite capture it for me. They seemed too broad. The less obvious insights pointed to the inability to see ourselves in a bigger or radically different role, no matter what it was. For example, if our habit is to work behind the scenes and we’re comfortable with that and have been doing it forever, stepping out onto the stage into the spotlight would be like entering a foreign country or different dimension altogether. In fact, the leap would appear so big, we’d assume that it wasn’t possible, or that it’s not for us.

Instead, we stay where we are in default mode, doing what we’ve always done. Better that than feeling like a fraud or losing the one constant in our lives — our identity — even if it is a little small. It’s cozy and warm in the realm of the familiar, so why rock the boat?

CONTINUE READING:

Also by Victoria Fann:

• Relationships – The Four Golden Threads
• Turning Down the Volume of the External World
• The Alchemy of Groups
• Finding Comfort in Uncertain Times

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