13 Wildly Irresponsible Vintage Ads Aimed at Kids

In a world full of government regulations where every light bulb comes in a package explaining how you shouldn’t eat it, it’s easy to forget that it wasn’t always like this. Once upon a time, not only did manufacturers not care what we did with their product, they seemed to build entire ad campaigns around tempting us to use them to kill our children.

We understand that the 1950s were a different time — you apparently weren’t allowed to file a liability lawsuit until you first proved your worth by fighting a bear in the courtroom. Still, we’re fairly certain that even back then, babies needed oxygen to survive.

This Du Pont Cellophane advertisement actually looked to raise the bar beyond mere irresponsibility by promising that this product could asphyxiate a number of babies at once.

One thing we left off our recent list of time travel dangers: In the past, the average five-year-old girl was more of a man than most modern men will ever be. Apparently, little girls took revolvers to bed just in case they needed to kill a dude during their nap. This ad appeared in Harpers in 1904, in case any time travelers are wondering what era to avoid if they don’t like playing the most permanent game of freeze tag possible.

We’re thinking that generation’s whole mindset can be summed up by this ad’s two warnings: “Absolutely Safe” and “they shoot straight and kill.” These were a people who saw no contradiction in those two statements. If you got shot, it was your own damned fault for getting in front of the gun.

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