Feeling A Grey's Arm, Shoulder, and Back

I had a strange flashback a few days ago and was too distracted to remember to record it right away. I don’t want to put it off any longer, because now that I got a morsel of an experience back, I don’t want to forget it all again. Because that happens sometimes– I’ll get a piece of it popping up into my consciousness, but then it’ll fade off into oblivion if I don’t find a way to store it in my long-term memory. Writing helps that process a great deal, I’ve found, and its one reason I like to keep a journal.

The flashback was entirely tactile, with a little bit of sound. My eyes were squeezed shut. I don’t know if that was because I was scared to look, or if I wasn’t allowed to open my eyes. That part I don’t remember.

What I do remember quite vividly is that I was sitting but reclined, like a dentist’s chair (and people wonder why I’m a dental-procedure phobic!) and comfortable, but I was coming out of some weird sleep, like I had been sedated. I apparently realized where I was and who I was with, but I was frustrated and nervous.

But I stopped myself from freaking out. It was too late, I was there– with THEM. No point getting scared now.

Maybe…

I wasn’t paralyzed. Refreshing! I took advantage of the fact before I thought too much about it and alerted anyone as to what I was thinking. I reached out with both hands to the right side of myself where I had heard soft shuffling sounds. My right hand bumped into something first, so I put both hands where that was– an arm. At about my waist, there was a very slender– SUPER SKINNY arm, hairless and smooth. The grey (obviously) was standing very close to my torso, so I didn’t have to reach far.

The reaction of the grey was interesting. The being pretty much stopped moving. I could feel them mentally, but the little guy wasn’t afraid of me, although he was certainly wary. I felt a stillness of mind. He was waiting to see what I would do, and apparently he was going to let me do it.

I ran my hand along the forearm, to the elbow, and my left hand followed my right. I felt the skin. Firm, but with a soft undertexture?– like a mushroom I’ve said before, but really, more like that ‘Wacky Wall Walker’ plastic. The arms aren’t sticky in any way, though. Just smooth. (Fingertips are sticky, though…) Nor were they either warm or cold in temperature. Just cool.

The arms were harder overall than I expected them to be. Not like soft flesh over muscle and bone. The arms seemed to be more uniformly dense maybe-? I remembered when I felt their hands (when I was 16) and I squeezed them I noticed the same thing: they felt like they were made of stiff rubber. I found the same to be true of the arms all these years later.

I wrapped my fingers around the forearms several times to feel the diameter as I moved up to the upper arms. Again using both hands. They were SO stick thin it was almost a wonder– how did they have the strength to do anything? I could easily wrap my fingers all the way around them and have a little room to spare– about an inch and a half diameter, barely bigger than a standard mop or broom handle! I kept thinking, “Wow! You guys are SO freaking skinny!”

I felt the elbow. It didn’t feel bony the way ours do. It was roundly smoothed over in this odd way I can’t exactly describe.

I moved up to the shoulder, it actually thickened out to a more round bulbous shape, but still small. Still, as I felt around the shoulder to the collar area and upper back where I would expect a shoulder blade– more oddness. It was still smooth and hard, a little thicker than the shoulder, a bit rounder than expected. I couldn’t feel a shoulder blade. I couldn’t feel bones beneath flesh. Just that hard rubber skin. I felt the collar bone area, but NO collar bone! No tendons going up into the neck, either. I felt vindicated. Every time I see a mock up of a grey and the artist gives them a collar bone I want to SCREAM! They don’t have collar bones! No clavicles or scapulas. They are NOT built the same way. But just seeing it was one thing– and given how they can project visual images into our minds I couldn’t trust anything I saw with them. Feeling it like this, though– I knew.

I pressed on the back a couple of times, and then the collar area as well, to see if I could feel those bones somehow under that odd, hardened, skin. But no. There was a form beneath, but I couldn’t make it out– only that it felt different than normal at the same time the overall shape was humanoid. It was so odd.

I worried that I might be hurting this guy. But I got the mental impression as soon as I thought about it that– ‘no’– I wasn’t. I wanted to be respectful, after all, I was just feeling this guy all over the place like a blind person! I was surprised to feel a patient sort of waiting from him, like he was actually perfectly okay with my explorations, though certainly surprised. Maybe even a little pleased– like having me be curious but careful was such a huge improvement from my wild, unfettered fear of the past he was still a little surprised I could manage it. So was I.

Towards the end of the memory, I reached the back of the grey’s head. I felt the skinny, short neck, but I did not put my hands all the way around it. It was just too disturbing– as if any neck that stick-like was too delicate to be handled. But I think it was more my own queasiness than reality. Any neck that could hold that huge head up could not possibly be that weak!  Meanwhile, the back of the head was that same texture of skin and and bulged out a bit, and it lacked the 2 big tendons going in from the neck like humans have of course.

The last thing I did was use my right arm to feel the entire top of the back, sort of caressing the shoulders and feeling the spine. Except– you may have guessed this by now– no actual spine sticking out to notice. I couldn’t feel a backbone. It was smooth there as well. Although the right and left areas to either side of that center spinal area did round out a bit from where the spine would have been, it was like touching an overly simplified and animated manikin. And either he was without clothes or was wearing an all-over body suit membrane that was indistinguishable from bare skin.

It was so unlike and yet like how people are built I kept having to feel it over and over to confirm to myself what I was sensing. But nothing ever changed shape under my hands. Everything absolutely stayed consistent. This was definitely a memory, not a dream.

I remember I thanked the being for letting me get all touchy-feely. I just wanted to know what he was for sure. If I could humanize his response, it would be something like, “Um, yeah… okay… are you done now?” He wasn’t human, though, so there wasn’t even that much personality in his reaction. I could feel Others around monitoring the situation. I think I was sensing the being pleased with me thoughts from them and the wary “Uh, guys… our experiment is touching me…!” from the one I was actually touching, because there was a sort of contradiction there. I’m not sure, though.

I don’t know what happened after I thanked him and relaxed into the reclining chair again. Nor do I know what happened before that. However, I DO know that the memory was a very recent one. Within the last 3 months I feel certain. How I can know that when I know so little I can’t tell you– I just know. I keep thinking it was February.

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