Old Man Contemplates His Dying Dog

He’s been my companion for 8 or 9 years. For the last 18 months, I figured he had about another week or so. But he just keeps coming back. He’s got a lot of guts and a strong will to live although his life is closing in quickly now and mostly he sleeps and rests.

The walks he always loved – when he couldn’t escape and run all over town – he has gradually had to cut back from covering our town to circling the familiar block (three times a day to two, to one, then occasionally to none) then to the place four houses away where he often receives treats. Now he doesn’t always get that far before he struggles home.

He used to give me one sharp bark when he needed to go out but for a year his voice has disappeared so he can’t wake me anymore or ever tell me he needs to go out.

For some time his back legs have been betraying him, what seems to happen to most big dogs that get old. First he fell once in a while, usually when making fast turns. But it got progressively worse until now he seldom is able to get up without my picking up his hind quarters. Sometimes, when I have been doing other things, not paying attention, he has gotten himself into hurtful situations but he can neither cry out nor move away. He just has to patiently wait for me to find him and get him to a normal position.

ACCEPTANCE

I know animals are not prone to complain but this is a step more than I ever expected to see. He knows now that he, like myself in my old age, is no longer the self-sufficient, self-ruling creature he was made to be.

As his faculties fade – including lately his sight, I’m afraid – he becomes more dependent on me. He falls a lot lately and sometimes falls again just after I pick him up because he doesn’t wait until his feet are under him properly before walking. He has “accidents” in the house since he can’t warn me and seems to appreciate that I clean up for him.

I have to cut up his food in small chunks because his teeth are gone; he can only use his tongue to pull pieces into his mouth which he can swallow. He can’t scratch himself and is very appreciative of having his ears scratched or rubbed.

In other words, he is going downhill to death. And he is almost helpless. If I don’t do it for him, it doesn’t get done. He would have long ago died if he were not cared for. Starvation, fallen somewhere and left, trapped in a spot with no escape, etc. Most owners have dogs in this condition “put to sleep.” I look at him, especially when he needs something or when it’s time for him to eat, and see him looking at me. I know he wants what I can give him because he wants to live, so I give it because I want him to live too.

His major and possibly only pleasure now is the fig newton. He loves those things. I have to break them up into small pieces for him and he takes them out of my hand with his tongue, one small piece at a time. After the last piece, he gives my hand a strong lick, something he never did when healthy and hearty. Too much wolf; he was never a jump up and lick your face kind of dog.

I give this description of his life because I have been reading about the proper way for Christians to handle suffering and it immediately hit me that Lobo, although he has no choice, he can’t complain because he has no way to complain, is still a true example of accepting what life brings. If I am busy with something else past his usual time for some care such as feeding, he simply waits. He may raise his head and follow me with his eyes, his only way to remind me that he needs care since he has no voice.

Most of us people do have a voice and can complain and demand, but how much closer to Christ’s example if we try not. This is all new thinking to me as I was blessed with good health until about 80 years. Like most of us, I took it for granted, but when the “wonderful one hoss shay” began to fall apart, it was a shock. I have done my share of complaining about the pains of old age and the loss of the ability to do many things for myself. But maybe that will change now with Lobo’s example, even if he’s gone. Christians are asked to bear suffering without complaint as Christ did. That’s a good idea for everyone in the world since we all suffer sometime in our lives.

I’m learning from old Lobo how suffering should be with us. The two of us didn’t like each other much at first but God has made us good companions, communicating in a way neither of us really can account for. As suffering is a part of life, I now have before me an ongoing example of bearing suffering which is essentially that described as the way Christ bore it when he gave up his earthly life for the sake of all. I hope in future to benefit from both examples.
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Related-

Makow- Seeing Death in a Positive Light