Considering Attractiveness

I’ve been with the same man for nearly 25 years. Nearly all my adult life. I’m a naturally loyal person, though– so despite any issues between us, I’ve never once been tempted to stray. I happily settled into a state of mind where I didn’t worry about how attractive I was except to myself and him. There is so much pressure on females to be pretty, I was quite content to let go of some of my excessive self-consciousness. I didn’t like being scrutinized, and besides- when you travel around with a man, most men just back off and give you space. I liked that, actually. I wasn’t looking and I wasn’t being looked at too much, either. Very relaxing.

Cut to recently…

I’m beginning to realize that I’ve short-changed my own estimation of how appealing I may be. I just haven’t really thought about it much, but now–? Now I’m noticing how often I’m noticed.

Example 1: At a restaurant, where 2 brothers in their early 50s (tall and VERY attractive themselves) were dining with their parents and– checking me out. Like– obviously. I was eating with Cat after my last therapy and group sessions and I was struck by finding myself being looked at in that way…by successful attractive men. That I wouldn’t mind dating.

Example 2: Last weekend I was grocery shopping, and already I’ve noticed that I get looked at a lot more often when I shop by myself. But last Sunday a 20-something, slender, tall and handsome young man was following me around for over half the time I was there. He was the timid kind, but when I got into line to pay, he mustered up the courage to tell me I had beautiful hair. I smiled sincerely and thanked him. He was cute! Way too young for me, but he had– THAT oogie look of attraction people get and it was weird to see in someone young enough to be my son! He was also a type 4, and I realized that was part of why he followed me around. 4s are always on the lookout for others of our tribe of freaks and weirdos!

Example 3: The sheriff’s deputy who serves me all my divorce papers now openly flirts with me. He’s in his late 30s and also cute.

Example 4: The guy who runs the copy store flirted with me and told me to look him up when my divorce is over. (He’s not so cute and too macho– so NO, but still… )

Point being…

I still got it!

ROFL!!!