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Saturday, July 16, 2016 10:26
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The ups and downs of birth control from a woman’s point of view…
I must say that sex in your 20s with birth control is pretty darn good. Any sex in your 20s, of course, is pretty darn good. At that age, sex is new, so exciting, and you are flattered by the attention, every time. Your medical doctor may just become your BFF. He holds the key to so much!  
But after awhile, unless children arrive to distract you, contracepted sex gets to be more about the sex, and less about you. Yes this is okay, but only to a point. You both thought sex itself was the intimacy, but as a woman, sooner or later, you need to share and talk. Meanwhile, he’s thinking we are “equal” now… why do we have to talk… and for how long? Are you rejecting me? Again? 
You are starting to put on weight from The Pill. He doesn’t like condoms. You know the drill. 
If you were fertile most of the time, you would actually have the power to put on the brakes at a moment’s notice. You could actually say HOLD EVERTHING WE’RE GONNA TALK, FIRST!  Then I’ll THINK about having sex with you… and he wouldn’t roll his eyes; he would respect this!  Imagine!
So in your 30s on BC, you are starting to know something is wrong, but you never, ever trace it back to the BC, because you were told BC liberates you.  After all, it is ubiquitous, just part of life, even responsible. You start to realize the medical risks. The worst may be coming true. Yet your doctor would never advise using a calendar or a thermometer. That would be archaic. He doesn’t know computers can help you now. So you do your duty, business as usual. 
Never in a million would you say BC causes relationship woes. Pope Paul VI said BC would lead to an increase in divorce and people thought he was nuts. But look where we are. 
By 40, if not sooner, sex with BC has become just another chore; you are always looking for more ways to “spice it up,” which can actually be sinful.  I read that in the old days, people naturally would give up sex around this age. Stunning.
Andy Warhol said “sex is the biggest nothing in the world.”  But our CULTURE says you would be missing out, that sexy means youthful, etc. Plus we used to have more physical activities which allowed us to channel that excess energy. I would say most manual laborers don’t have it within them to be oversexed.
So now you are 40, and trying to figure out ways to avoid your husband or lover. When menopause arrives at 50, you are so relieved that sex actually hurts!  You disdain the creams and gels, say you are allergic, and talk trash about Viagra, just in case. You speculate out loud whether you think your friends are still “doing it” and you lead him to the conclusion they are probably not…  
So if the two of you actually lasted this long, into your 50s, and now you finally have sex off the table, you may actually start having conversations with him again. At long last.
If you took a poll, I’d bet this resonates with MILLIONs of couples. MILLIONS. 
“When menopause arrives at 50, you are so relieved TO DISCOVER that sex actually hurts!” 
I’m on vacation, so I’ll just say now that I’ve been given the vocabulary (by you), I can identify BC as something that “arrests development.” So sex can degenerate into smut, gayness, or whatever, instead of generating life, its original purpose. This thought is not original to me, I’ve seen it under labeling that is somewhat more “judgemental.”
Do whatever you want with my thoughts or forget about it. I’ve already let go.
So both men AND women eventually want the “monkey off their back”
This is a compilation of four women’s shared experiences. 
Some of it is me, but it’s not 100% me.
 Bonnie has written an honest witness to how females think, that shows how they were drawn into promiscuity and became childless ‘cat ladies’ in their 50′s.  
Pubescent girl aren’t complicated.  In their natural state they’re driven by an instinctive need for a boy to pay attention to them.  When they’re naive they will do whatever they think boys want.   Father’s used to teach boys to want an obedient girl that could cook and was good with children, that didn’t back talk. So most girls acted accordingly. 
I remember that in the beginning girls got on the pill because the movies an TV shows told them boys wanted sex more than anything.  60′s boys did want sex more than anything because they suddenly had access to pornography. 
Bonnie described the life cycle of all the women I ever had sex with.  They started out just wanting to get some male, not knowing that starting off with sex is disordered and such relations come to nothing..   
What she hasn’t mentioned directly is that this is Modern ‘lifestyle’ and it’s disordered.  Everybody knows it’s miserable, but if it’s disordered, what is in order? 
We have to go back over a century to something called Natural Law, that’s not taught in schools – or churches.  Not in shul either, anymore.  Human beings are a subject to natural law as water, that always boils at 100 C. 
Modernism rejected the idea of predetermined human nature.   Bonnie may or may not have heard about this, but it useful for understanding what happened to the millions of women whose lives have played out like her description since the 1960′s. 
Natural Law provides a narrow path to bonding with a suitable mate and raising a family successfully.  In the previous culture, women that did could usually count on being cared for the rest of their lives, if not by a husband (if he died), then by their children.  This was routinely normal for most people/  There are still people that are dying off in Texas that lived their whole life cycle that way. 
Now the analogy is if you’re don’t know about cars and you decide you want to make it better, you pop open the hood and say, “I don’t like all these wires cluttering everything up”.  You see a wire that says REPRODUCTION and yank it out. You take another wire called TEMPERANCE and one called AROUSAL and switch them.  You turn the key and notice it’s driving really rough – so you fill it up with the highest octane fuel you can find.  Now the car is still running rough, and backfiring, and a lot more expensive to drive. 


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