The Subconscious Beat Goes On

Feeling pretty good this morning!

Had lots of validating dreams that seem to be indicating I’m on the right track, healing-wise in the psychological sense! Mostly short dreams about dealing with problems and emotional overload that quickly segued into more short dreams.

2 in particular stood out…

In one, I was trying to build a life on a homestead with some Aspects. We were arranging things in our cabin when we heard a thunderous rumbling! I looked out the window and saw a large cloud of kicked up dust from a stampede of raging water buffaloes! We were in the direct path and would be trampled to death! Oh NOES! Everyone started to panic, and I advised the others to join me in going up to the second floor and holding on for deal life! Several joined me–

Afterwards, I came down and surveyed the damage. Some of my piles of things outside the cabin were obliterated, but most of what made up the piles was just knocked down a little and could be cleaned up and salvaged. I was relieved. We would be okay, despite the damage, and get on with our new life.

~ In this case, it appears that not screaming other aspects down has gained The Bull a much better “team” of helpers who can work together to get me out of danger, or even out of the way of being overwhelmed by emotions, which I think is what the stampede represented. They just moved most of us out of the way, the emotions “passed,” and then we could deal with what came of it. Very impressive, and I was so surprised and happy that my Aspects were working together to get through difficulties! THAT’S what I’m talking about, baby!

The next dream that stood out, I was at an “After the Storm” party with a bunch of Aspects. We were going to meet and hang out and see what we could find in the disaster area that could be salvaged (that theme again!) My green Guide, Summers, was there! She was showing me all these gifts that she had been given recently by other Aspects, who were grateful to her! She was pulling out these magic popcorn bags that refilled with popcorn when you emptied them out– she thought everyone should start to enjoy some entertainment and so was passing out some stuff for the party!

~ This was really cool to see as well. Another Aspect that I’ve been working with consciously (see my ‘therapy’ tag) has been openly acknowledged in my dreams. Further, beyond my conscious knowledge, she is seen as a helper and other parts of me are grateful to her and giving her gifts! An excellent sign that my self-therapy is working even without my conscious effort!

This Internal Family Systems therapy rocks! (You know, maybe that’s why Fara was in my life. She’s the one that gave me the book on that in the first place, saying that my dream work sounded a lot like it… Hmmm!)

I’ve come up with another way to remember how to differentiate some Aspects.

• Shadows are the “Shamed Shadows” — rejected because society, parents, inner standards or what have you don’t want to deal with our parts who make us vulnerable to shame, rejection, and defeat. In unhealthy childhood homes, that can be parts of ourselves that other people might admire– like creativity, or joyfulness, or enthusiasm. So not all Shadows are “bad” per se, they just have to be exiled or suppressed by the parts of us that “show” to other people.
• Rays are the “Righteous Rays” — the critics of our minds that are the actual voices of society, parents, or inner standards, etc. They are the ones that try to keep us in line. In unhealthy childhood homes, some Rays may be twisted and cruel. They try to make sure we are safe, secure, and proud and may be ruthless in attempting to maintain certain behaviors in order to keep us in a ‘good’ way.
• Guides are our “Good Guides” — genuine healers who bring compassion and understanding to the system as a whole. They step in, when we allow them to, and help us to find our own inner resources to meet the challenges that often overwhelm us. They may be our Higher Selves, or perhaps they really are Guardian Angels or Helper Spirits who come in from the outside in forms that we can appreciate. Their function is to help us BALANCE out our extremes.
• Freakers are our “Frantic Freakers” — they are the last resort to dealing with a reality we can’t handle. They create compulsions towards self-destruction in an attempt to avoid dealing with pain. Addictions, destructive compulsions, crazy extreme behavior… all fall under their umbrella. Many blessed people never even meet their inner Freaker, while others are entirely subsumed by them. They are very powerful once invoked into existence.
• Finally, there are our “Chided Children” — regressed and repressed parts of us that nonetheless influence our adult behavior. That could be our innocence, our hope, our pouty hurt, fears of the dark, etc. They get shunted in with the Shadows, but they seem to be rejected only by virtue of being immature Aspects, and have an interesting life of their own aside from the Shadows who are rejected for other reasons.

Hope this helps!