Normalcy Returning!

I guess the dreams are right, I am starting to feel better in more lasting and profound ways…

Though my flares are still slowing me down, other than that, I’ve noticed some old habits returning. The same habits of behavior I have when I’m feeling pretty good about the world as a whole and I’m engaged and relaxed.

~ I’m starting to watch a little news again. Only 5 to 10 minutes a day, but this is after avoiding both local and national news for going on 2 years now! Given how especially bad most of it is these days, that’s a real accomplishment.

~ I’m starting to get excited about fiction stories again, even the intensely dramatic ones. (I haven’t been able to watch Game of Thrones or several other awesome shows due to high anxiety.) I can lose myself in a a fiction book. I can work on my own fictional stories again. I was really worried about losing that ability to fantasize since it was my primary coping mechanism for dealing with stress my entire life!

~ I’m starting to think about the future with something besides dread. I’m beginning to get excited about possible projects and have actively been returning to unfinished ones that got waylaid by the drama of the recent past.

~ I’m starting to be able to play video games involving fighting and not get freaked out about it. Dragons? Demons? NO problem!

~ I’m starting to get restless again, needing more outlets for my curiosity, socialization, etc. I’m not as scared to venture out.

Well, I think you get the idea!

Mind you, it’s not all there yet. I still have many limits! However, I can finally see parts of myself returning after being shoved aside to make room for Survival Self to take over. That’s a big deal to me, because being vigilant unrelentingly is so spiritually draining!

I’m just so relieved to feel more normal (or what passes as normal for me, anyways!)