Prototype Designing My Messy Life

I listen to podcasts pretty regularly. I have 2 categories: the fun and weird fictional podcasts to listen to as I fall asleep each night (to prevent me keeping myself awake with worried self-talk) and the factual “things that make you go hmmm” podcasts to listen to as I awaken each day to get my brain juices humming with new ideas at the time of day I’m most receptive to them.

One of those morning podcasts is Hidden Brain from NPR. Today I listened to 2 episodes, # 55– on how messy things can inspire exploration and creativity, & # 56– on how to design prototypes for possible lives to take on when you feel stuck in a rut.

Lots of thoughts to ponder regarding these notions…

I suppose I can see that many aspects of my earlier chaotic life have brought with them some hidden gifts. I don’t mean the abuse or neglect, but rather the being uprooted or finding myself in a house full of STUFF to the point there were no horizontal surfaces available that people didn’t use to sit or sleep upon. I learned to adapt, to take on some flexibility, out of sheer necessity! Over and over again, I had to figure out how to make my life workable from the crazy mess I was in. Some parts I came to enjoy. Moving is a pain in the ass, but getting to explore new homes and new neighborhoods (or even new states and regions of the country!) was always something I relished.

Now, when disruptions invade my personal universe, I’ve learned some coping methods that save me time, energy, and misery. For example– I’ve learned that when I expect to be STAYING someplace longer than a year to paint the walls, then unpack and organize quickly (within the month) then decorate and make things cozy and to my taste. I’ve also learned that if I expect to stay somewhere less than a year, to leave most of my shit in boxes that I then hide (in closets or even under a blanket) to save myself packing time later. I’ve got how to move down to an art!

Messy living didn’t just teach me how to make the most of an awkward situation, it also taught me what to AVOID so as not to live through repeats of certain forms of misery! Deciding whether to make a new living situation my home or my temporary waystation was just one aspect of that learning curve. Now when I see other people hit with unexpected situations that are only uncomfortable, not life-threatening, I watch in wonder as they freak out and bitch over things that are not so hard to adapt to– especially short-term inconveniences. One eventually learns to not sweat the small stuff when the big stuff has overwhelmed them too many times– at least, one hopes so.

The concept of designing ‘prototype’ lives to try on and either embrace or discard is even more intriguing to me… The tech designers who came up with the idea say that most of us have this stressful idea that we are missing out on the ONE things we were somehow “meant to do” and we struggle most of our lives trying to find that ONE thing– often to no avail. This is especially true when we’ve just had a jarring shift in our lives– losing a job, a divorce, a death, etc. We can feel lost and unsure where to start. For most, though, it is just a niggling worry that we’re stuck in a rut and need to do better.

Alternatively, they recommend coming up with 3 versions of your life that you both COULD live and WOULD choose to live. Then, you try them on, either one at a time, or tippy-toe parts of each to get a feel for what actually works for you when applied to reality. For example, I’ve always been keen on writing, but never could find a way to take my passion (and addiction) and actually make a living at it. One helpful reader suggested Patreon and just opened up a whole world for me that I never would have considered before. Suddenly, something that looked distant and ideal- but too ‘pie-in-the-sky’ became practical and helpful. Now I think I can include “writer” in my repertoire of self-descriptions! I’m slowly turning my avocation into a vocation.

As for the other two ideas for my future– I’m looking at disability (which involves a lot of confrontation of authorities and red tape– maybe my two least favorite things in the world aside from being the target of abuse). I don’t know that I have much of a choice in the matter, but it is certainly not something that I look forward to… what would my life look like with that? And I don’t even know what the third thing to check out would be… but I’m intrigued enough to think about it and maybe come up with another idea.