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Danger! Women with Borderline Personality Disorder

Thursday, July 27, 2017 7:03
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marykennedy.jpeg.size.custom.crop.615x650.jpg(left.  RFK Jr. & his late wife Mary.He has since married Cheryl Hines who played Larry David’s wife on Curb Your Enthusiasm)

10% US Women Have Borderline Personality Disorder 

 85% of people suffering from BPD are women and account for about 5% of the US population. 

The author, Zach’s wife suffers from BPD: 
Having lived through it, I can tell you that the end result is a battered, beaten shadow of a man who, at his lowest, believes every harsh thing she says about him, has lost complete control over his own possessions and even his own life, and feels isolated and trapped. 

I decided to repost this 2012 article after receiving this email Wednesday from Barry: “I’ve just read your brief article about dangerous people with BPD. My wife is this kind of dangerous person. It’s taken me many years to understand who she is. Since we separated four years ago she’s caused me more grief than I can describe here. I could write a book. She is the narcissistic powerful personality type who won’t stop torturing me. Is there any resources I can access to deal with her. I’m chained to her during a very prolonged divorce because she and her lawyer find ways to block the divorce/property settlement that keeps my life in limbo. Thanks for your help and understanding of this kind of dangerous person.”

by Zach
“Sometimes in the middle of the night, Bobby [Kennedy Jr.] would awake to find Mary standing over his bed, beating him, according to the affidavit. Bobby tried to protect himself from her punches and even once jumped out a second-story window to escape.”
- The Last Days of Mary Kennedy, 2012-07-10.
On 16 May 2012, Mary Richardson Kennedy, the estranged wife of Robert Kennedy, Jr., was found dead, hanging in the family barn,  in what the police have ruled a definite suicide. The mass media and feminists immediately started attacking Robert Kennedy, Jr., saying that he had given her a “devastating blow” when he filed for divorce 2 years ago.

As the days went on, the character assassination campaign grew to such a pitch that Mr. Kennedy publicized a court affidavit from their divorce proceedings that described Mary as an out-of-control woman who frequently physically and emotionally abused her loving husband and four children.

MARYK.jpegAccording to his affidavit:
“Mary, in a sudden rage about my continued friendship with [my ex-wife] Emily, hit me in the face with her fist. She was a trained boxer and I got a shiner. Her engagement ring crushed my tear duct causing permanent damage … Mary asked me to lie to her family about the cause of my shiner.”
According to the affidavit and various psychologists, Mary Kennedy was afflicted with Borderline Personality Disorder.  She appears to have had what the clinicians call a “high functioning” form, meaning that from the outside everything seemed normal, even optimal, but for those intimate with her, she took on the Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde personas that is so typical of BPD. 
“When people are driving themselves crazy, they have neuroses or psychoses. When they drive other people crazy, they have personality disorders.”

Personality disorders, in general,  are deeply ingrained, learned behaviors and mindsets formed during childhood that result in the individual ceasing to mature emotionally. 

The sufferer has an extremely narrow black-and-white worldview that causes them to be unduly agitated and aggressive.

Personality disorders are contrasted against the more commonly known Affective Disorders (e.g., Bipolar and Depression) in that PDs are mostly learned behaviors and mindsets, whereas Affective Disorders stem more from biological malfunctions and shortages of hormones.

Bobby couldn’t understand what was happening to this beautiful woman he adored. She would be fine during the day, but he came to dread the evenings. “She would go into a kind of altered state which we came to call her ‘episodes,’?” Bobby said in his affidavit. “Her features would change with her jaw set forward, her face paled, her eyes notably darkened, her voice alternatively breathy or hard. Mary’s mood vacillated between rage and self-pity. Her behavior often became violent and destructive.”
MK.jpegPeople afflicted with BPD typically have an emotional maturity level somewhere between that of a 3- and 6- year-old. They tend to
  • not be able to settle conflicts (instead raging),
  • cannot emotionally handle  information conflicting to their beliefs of reality (instead growing immediately and intensely angry), 
  • have a weak handle on reality at times (forgetting past abuse, having warped views of situations, etc.),
  • and have the inability to hold two opposing views and finding a synthetic balance.  Someone or something is either all good, or, in the words of Mary Kennedy, “the Devil incarnate”. This is the psychological process called Splitting
If you find yourself frequently thinking, Gosh! They’re acting just like a spoiled brat!, there may be some very real truth to that statement. But imagine a mentally unstable Tom Hanks in the movie Big and you will quickly realize this is no laughing matter.
On her last day, Mary Kennedy “split” her own self black, as they say, but this can easily (and does) go the other way. Everyone from husbands to children to the beloved family pet can be split black by the borderline, sometimes with disastrous results:  Just over a year ago, in May 2011, Mrs. Kennedy ran over the family dog with her car when her 11 year-old son said he wanted to go to his Dad’s house.

One of the saddest aspects of the BPD pattern is that most husbands of BPD’s are honest, God-fearing, highly empathetic and otherwise powerful men.

Frankly, no one else could or would put up with their abuse or have faith that they’d get better. Because highly functional BPD’s can control themselves in front of outsiders, many go months, even years, without showing symptoms. By that point, the unsuspecting man frequently finds himself married and with several children (There is a pattern where Borderline women desire numerous children, as a sort of Narcissistic Supply and enmeshment of husbands [see the movie on Joan Crawford, Mommie Dearest (1981)]) .

These men then feel like they committed to the relationship for better or for worse, and doggedly stick to their convictions, even while it destroys their manhood and their children. Then a series of systematic abuse, isolation from friends and family, and an invasion of their personal boundaries occurs that leaves the partner in a state of psychological shock and blackmail termed “enmeshment”

Having lived through it, I can tell you that the end result is a battered, beaten shadow of a man who, at his lowest, believes every harsh thing she says about him, has lost complete control over his own possessions and even his own life, and feels isolated and trapped. In this climate, the rage episodes of the BP increase in both frequency, duration and severity, since she subconsciously knows her source of identity (her man) is not going anywhere soon.

Now doesn’t all of this sound like those beaten down, eggshell-walking men mocked in the commercials? It is my contention that BPD may be part of a larger sociological engineering campaign, manufactured in tandem and exacerbated by the Feminist movement. One casually overlooked (and occluded) fact is that BPD is a purely Western phenomenon.

[BPD] is rarely diagnosed in India and in other developing countries and it is a sort of “culture bound syndrome” prevalent in western cultures.
[Some nights,] she would threaten suicide, but the next morning she would be calm and gentle. She would say she was sorry and didn’t know why she was acting this way. For a time she would be her old wonderful self at night as well as during the day, and Bobby had renewed hope, the affidavit said.

Far from “driving his wife to suicide”, it appears that Robert Kennedy, Jr., was just doing what he could to keep his family intact, rushing to rescue his wife whenever she fell, putting up with loads of abuse, and covering up for her. 

He was (and probably still is), in short, a misguided man suffering from White Knight SyndromeHis kids had to watch this and years later — confided in him that they, too, were being abused. That he didn’t know shows the extent of his denial.

If you believe you may be in a relationship with someone afflicted with Borderline Personality Disorder, it is imperative that you stop believing any negative accusation your partner makes about you, immediately. From this day forward, s/he must be treated as an unreliable, if not hostile, witness.
Your next step is to join a support group so that you can share your story, talk with others who have been through it and will accept you with calm understanding and even give you advice. This is called validation and it is the number one thing partners of Borderlines lack. One very good support group I’ve found is the Yahoo Group WelcomeToOz.
To learn more about BPD, I’d recommend the following books in the following order:

  1. One Way Ticket To Kansas: Caring About Someone With BPD And Finding A Healthy You,
  2. The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder
  3. Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has BPD
 Borderline Personality Disorder has one of the highest incidents of domestic abuse and one of the lowest incidents of recovery. If your partner frequently shows remorse after one of their episodic rages, then there is a degree of hope for recovery after years of psychotherapy (research Dialectical Behavioral Therapy).

However, if you hardly ever get an, “I’m sorry”, but get yelled at more, then the prognosis is very grim. In that case, you should analyze your life situation. Ask, is this my proper path in life? What am I getting out of this?

Don’t believe in miracles, or you will be hoovered back in, just like Mr. Kennedy, whenever your partner reverts to the Dr. Jekyll personality that you fell in love with. 
If, after careful reflection, you’ve decided you want out, tread very carefully. The mere threat of breakups always exacerbates the mental instability and psychosis of the Borderline to the point that if you do not carefully plan, you could be putting yourself and your family in harm’s way.

Go Away! I Need You! is one of the best how-to guides on everything you must do for weeks up until your escape.

Finally, realize that you ended up with a person afflicted with BPD because of self-esteem issues that you must address before seeking out new partners. Otherwise the chances of getting involved with another BP are greatly increased.
As a society, we simply must face this pandemic head on, educating as many people as we can. We must teach the young how to spot the signs and symptoms, and hopefully stop the oppression of so many good men and women while helping as best we can those afflicted.


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Total 2 comments
  • Julie Bucker

    BPD means satanic ritual abused. Abused children turn into abusive adults.

  • unidentified

    its too bad he couldnt get her the help she needed to cope with her mental problems before she killed herself

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