Human Again! & Progress Continues

I got my meds (at least a few doses worth) and took some to break this weeks-long pain flare that has just crushed me.

I can’t tell you how different I feel. Just relaxed and functional. It feels miraculous to be freed of that relentless pain!

We managed to get lots of boxes and plastic crate-bins packed into the POD yesterday. I helped a little, but mostly opening doors as Cat’s neighbors came over to help her load the POD! Saved me some additional pain issues. I also had to weed the mulch– as they put it down without using a weed barrier under it first. (We had several issues with that “helper” that Cat’s realtor hired– the guy took short cuts.) But it felt great to get another few things taken care of…

… still have a MOUNTAIN of things to pack and move and clean though.

I rested most of the day today, and the pain flare, after 2 doses (1 dose of 3 pills 2 days in a row) the deep ache released and I got my life back just like that. The fatigue lessened as well. It often does with Lyrica, though I’m still not sure why. In any event, I am feeling really good even as the second dose works it’s way out of my system tonight. I meet with my new pain doctor in 2 days– so fingers crossed that gets me closer to a better situation with meds.

Also– my old pain doc, Joan, wasn’t fired. She moved to a clinic by the same company closer to where she lives. There weren’t any issues to worry about there. I’m glad, because she was good. She listened and worked with me. I didn’t want her to be in trouble. Or for any of her conclusions to be re-assessed!

Tomorrow I have to get up early. The realtor is coming along with the dreaded “STAGER” who will nitpick the hell out of these chaotic living quarters. I’m just going to tell her what I plan to do, ask her a couple of questions (that I already know the answer to) and usher her out of my 2 rooms again. Cat needs the guidance, though. She can’t seem to SEE what her living quarters look like to fix them up. Too much junk and clutter! But its probably better to come from someone besides me, you know? So– whatevers.

Ug!

I can hardly wait until the packing up and cleaning is over. I don’t mind unpacking and painting and organizing a new living space, but packing up and cleaning the old one–? SUCKS. It is the worst part of moving. Then I can move on and get back to my various writing projects in a more stable and less flare-prone environment. I’ve had talks with Cat about organizing the space to prevent repetitive motion issues and to cut down on allergies. She’s agreed to work with me on this. I should be stable, with long-term possibilities to think about, and the knowledge that I shouldn’t have to move again for a long, long time! If ever– if things are good, why not stay? Cat wants me as a roomie, and we get along great. I could see settling in with her for the long haul. I like having my own bedroom and negotiating with someone who actually listens to me and doesn’t outrule me on everything like my husband did. We’re not lovers or anything, but I am perfectly fine with a sister-friend to live with. I’m not alone, and neither is she. And I could never live in a nice home like Cat is planning to buy by myself. At best, I might be able to afford a studio apartment in a crappy neighborhood or corner of a city. This way, I pay rent and help her out, and I get an amazing deal on a living situation, not just a place to live–

– my goddess! I am very fortunate to have this option. I don’t feel it some days just now while things are chaotic, and I’m struggling to get adequate health care for my issues. However, once things are settled, I think I’ll feel in shock at my incredible shift in circumstances. I know several women who have problems similar to mine (scattered across the country) who live not just modestly, but in high crime neighborhoods or who have to live with shitty roommates or abusive families. I’m so glad I avoided that fate. Once again, friendship has saved me. I have always invested in my friends. Because of that, I’m going to be okay. Cat’s ass got saved by me coming up with a plan for her to live a great life that is affordable for her (we just did loan paperwork together, and– yeah!) and my ass got saved having her provide me a new a wonderful life as her roomie. Life will work out and I will be okay.

I’m shooting for late April/early May for life to start opening up again. In the meantime, I’ll have plenty to discuss. I had a weird thing happen a few nights ago as well. The mysterious “Others” who pop in and out of my life have their own schedule. I never know when to expect a singular visit, though flaps are easier to identify. Other than the night Sharon died, there have been no signs of her– I’m confident she moved on. That weird white light fog was just too perfect to be ghost-worthy. There was no anguish in that energy.

Okay– I’m babbling. I feel good enough to babble! LOL! Off to bed I think before I digress into ever more random word territory!