Settling Into a New Home

Yet another morning of waking up feeling happy! It is weird, but so damned cool! I yawn, smack my lips a little, stretch and open my eyes… and smile. Jazz always knows when I awaken and she comes to get pets and cuddles for a few minutes before I get out of bed to get going for the day. I then feed the cats and check on the chickens and look in wonderment out of the windows and feel amazingly good.

Cat, on the other hand, is sort of up and down. One minute she’s over the moon about the house and new life, the next she’s bitching about things or complaining that she’s made a big mistake!

Partially this is because she’s been through a lot and has yet still to even truly mourn her mother. I told her I expect her to just fall into a pile of goo one of these days and not come up for air for at least a few hours, if not a couple of days. That’s perfectly understandable.

But partially it is because Cat is a bit of a spoiled baby. She hasn’t faced a lot of challenges in her life, let alone so many at once, so things that to me are just annoyances to be dealt with are, to her, insurmountable obstacles. An old riding lawnmower that is unfamiliar is not a reason to give up!

And I know it’s her issue, but it sort of harshes my buzz, you know? I have difficulty not getting nervous whenever I hear her make overblown announcements. I have yet to dismiss them so easily as I did my ex-husband’s (who made them daily about everything, I swear!)

I realize, of course, that I have to give things time to settle down. Shit can’t be perfect right off. If anyone should understand the way unrelenting stress can grind a person’s motivation down, it’s me. So I must be patient and realize Cat and I are just in different psychological places. I’m trying to take over some responsibilities to give her a break, she just has to let go of being in charge of everything for that to work! LOL!

This week, due to lack of internet at home, Cat has had to commute to work for 5 days in a row. That’s the first time she’s done THAT in MONTHS! Maybe over a year, since she’s been working from home one day a week to take her mother to appointments for quite a while. Regardless, I’ve needed the space to just recover from over-socializing pressure after dealing with Cat, movers and Cat’s friends helping with the move, as well as well-wishing neighbors who came by to help a little and say good-bye. Time and quiet and space to just be by myself is how I charge my batteries, introvert that I am, and I was happy to have 5 weekdays in a row to just be alone during the day.

Once we have internet again (will it be Saturday? Maybe not! They want proof Cat owns the house now!) Cat will be working from home one or two days a week again, sparing her the ferry commute. Which is fine. As long as I get the place to myself sometimes, I’ll manage.

The chickens saw their first deer and freaked out, big time! The doe herself seemed surprised by all the fuss. The cats saw their first deer while at Sunrise Red cabin, and now watch with more intense curiosity than alarm. I guess deer don’t exactly move like dangerous predators! =^)

Other than this news, it is me unpacking and taking breaks from unpacking. I can put my own stuff away- but the rest? Cat finally gave me permission to just organize the kitchen and massive pantry my way (with no heavy stuff either too high or too low) and that frees me considerably. I’ve been wanting to re-organize the kitchen since I moved in with them. It has NOT been disabled-friendly! I am immensely grateful that she’s decided to just let me do it my way. Hurrah!

I’m so tired I go to bed by 9pm, but then I get up at 6am because… I’m sleeping VERY deeply. I only had one bad dream that I recall, I was a teenager dealing with my parents again and they were being… like them and I awoke very frustrated to remember those times. And very grateful to no longer be a minor in their power.