Excuse Me, Gay is Not Good

But I do not help them by telling them they are O.K. when they are not O.K.

Nor do I endorse their “new claim to self-definition and self-respect.”

In point of fact, many of my patients had character; they had an education; they were respected ad men and actuaries and actors. But they were still in pain-for one reason and one reason alone. They were caught up in this mysterious compulsion to have sex with other men. They were not free. They were not happy. And they wanted to see if they could change.

Over the years, I found that those of my patients who really wanted to change could do so, by attaining the insight that comes with a good psychoanalysis. Others found other therapies that helped them get to the bottom of their compulsions, all of which involved high motivation and hard work. Difficult as their therapeutic trips were, hundreds and thousands of homosexuals changed their ways. Many of my own formerly homosexual patients-about a third of them-are married today and happily so, with children. One-third may not sound like a very good average. But it is just about the same success rate you will find at the best treatment centers for alcoholics, like Hazelden in Minnesota and the Betty Ford Clinic in California.

Another third of my patients remain homosexual but not part of the gay scene. Now, after therapy, they still have same-sex sex, but they have more control over their impulses because now they understand the roots of their need for same-sex sex. Some of these are even beginning to turn on to the opposite sex. I add this third to my own success rate-so that I can tell people in all honesty that my batting average is .667 out of more than a thousand “at bats.”

Of course, I could bat .997 if I told all my patients in pain that their homosexuality was “a special call” and “a liberation.” That would endear me to everyone, but it would not help them. It would be a lie-despite recent pieces of pseudo-science bolstering the fantasy that gays are “born that way.”

The media put its immediate blessing on this “research,” but we were oversold. Now we are getting reports, even in such gay publications as The Journal of Homosexuality, that the gay-gene studies and the gay-brain studies do not stand up to critical analysis. (The author of one so-called “gay-gene theory” is under investigation by the National Institutes of Health for scientific fraud.)

CAUSES OF HOMOSEXUAL DISORDER

I was not surprised to hear this. My long clinical experience and a sizable body of psychoanalysis research tell me that most [homosexuals]are reacting, at an unconscious level, to something amiss with their earliest upbringing- over-controlling mothers and abdicating fathers. Through long observation I have also learned that the supposedly liberated homosexual is never really free. In his multiple, same-sex adventures, even the most effeminate gay was looking to incorporate the manhood of others, because he was in a compulsive, never-ending search for the masculinity that was never allowed to build and grow in early childhood…

Once my patients have achieved an insight into these dynamics-and realized there is no moral fault involved in their longtime and mysterious need-they have moved rather quickly on the road to recovery. Their consequent gratitude to me is overwhelming. And why shouldn’t it be? They were formerly caught up in compulsions they could not understand, compulsions they could not control. Now they are in charge of their own lives.

Their former promiscuity may have looked a lot like “liberation.” But it was not true freedom. It was a kind of slavery. And it was not a lifestyle. With the onset of AIDS, as the playwright and gay militant Larry Kramer said in a 1993 interview, it turned out to be a death style. I have had some patients tell me, “Doctor, if I weren’t in therapy, I’d be dead.”

[ In addition, child and youth sexual abuse is a major cause of homosexuality. A 1992 study of 1000 homosexuals found that 37% had been abused sexually by an older male. Socarides, Homosexuality: A Freedom Too Far , p. 88)

IN WAR, FIRST CASUALTY IS TRUTH

Testimonials from my recovered patients make me feel my work is worthwhile-despite regular demands from the gay rights community for my silence. What would they have me do? Pack my bags, find a new profession, lock up a lifetime of research and analysis, hide my truth under a bushel? It is not my psychoanalytic duty to tell people they are marvelous when they are out of control, much less ask disingenuous rhetorical questions like, “What kind of God would afflict people with an ‘objective disorder’ in the disposition of their hearts?”

Giving God the credit for their gayness is a persistent refrain in much gay literature today, and I am saddened to see people of evident good will become unwitting parties to the blasphemy. Gays ascribe their condition to God, but he should not have to take that rap, any more than he should be blamed for the existence of other man-made maladies-like war, for instance, which has proven to be very unhealthy for humans and for all other living things. God does not make war. Men do.

And, when homosexuality takes on all the aspects of a political movement, it, too, becomes a war, the kind of war in which the first casualty is truth, and the spoils turn out to be our own children. An exaggeration? Well, what are we to think when militant homosexuals seek to lower the age of consensual sexual intercourse between homosexual men and young boys to the age of 14 (as they did in Hawaii in 1993) or 16 (as they tried to do in England in 1994)? In the Washington March for Gay Pride in 1993, they chanted, “We’re here. We’re queer. And we’re coming after your children.”

What more do we need to know?
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This comes under the heading of killing sacred cows… very touchy work.  The piece you presented was valid as far as it went but much has happened in the past 20 years that bears examination.  In the early 90′s I taught at University level in my second career, the first was 20 years as an airline pilot.

This is the time that students as products of programed instruction began to appear.  I was shocked to discover that although nicely socialized they had not been educated and in fact quite the opposite and were markedly and uniformly unable to think.

I think their “educators” were uneducated themselves and thus knew nothing to to teach beyond moment to moment programed learning.  In many ways it became clear that most of these college students were totally unprepared for college but education had become a cash cow and standards were lowered to accommodate the cows that were passed on and graduated.

Worse yet was that young men were presenting with speech and behavior patterns that had formerly been associated with females.  These were boys who had been raised (and educated) by women with little or no interaction with men… and thus, the female will forever dominate.

The problem of course was the rise of the feminist movement in the US with the result that women once again demonstrated that left to themselves they could only raise little boys to be little girls.  And historically be reminded that is is not news as great societies made it a point to get their male children away from the women at an early age.

This is the reason for separate education in the Greeks, the Romans, the Spanish, and the British… all societies that conquered the world.  Little girls didn’t do that, it took men.  And notice that these days the Elites favor separate schools and for the most part, the faculty is male. 

FAST FORWARD…  in late ’93′ I left America to study in Asia and spent the next 7 years in India studying Buddhism for Initiation and stayed in Asia until returning to US a few years ago.  I was shocked at America’s descent over that 20 year period.

The first question out of any visitor looking around is “what happened to the kids?”  Knowing that in every society the women are responsible for raising the kids the next question must be “what happened to the women?”  And another, “what happened in the educational system dominated by women?

Proof is in the pudding that are the children as one begins to notice that children, particularly the males, raised and educated by women, have in many cases assumed the worst qualities of the women that raised them.