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Boston Mayor Claims His Fight Against Chick-fil-A Saved Millions of Lives

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the Daily Rash

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BOSTON – According to members of his staff, when Mayor Thomas Menino was told that the president of Chick-Fil-A restaurants did not support gay marriage, he knew the citizens of Boston would expect him to act. Although the rest of the nation is slowly beginning to accept the idea of gay marriage, Boston is one of the few cities to lawfully allow homosexuals to bond in the holiest of institutions – marriage.

“Mayor Menino was aware that his constituency would want him to strike a crippling blow against the abhorrent bigotry emanating from behind the closed doors of Chick-fil-A,” staffer Brittany Baxter said. “It was the moment he’d been waiting for his entire life and he did not hesitate, he did not flinch. For, the moment was not about him, but about the citizens of Boston who look to him for guidance regarding right and wrong. Most of all, the moment was about the gay men and women, bisexual and transgendered folks that the mayor has fought alongside of in the war against the bigots, the haters and anyone who doesn’t think like them. This day was about freedom and Mayor Menino was prepared to rise to the occasion.”

Baxter said the Mayor met with his staff before speaking to the press. “When the meeting concluded, Mayor Menino stood in front of a mirror and straightened his tie. Then he took a deep breath, turned to us and said, “C’mon! Let’s go win one for the fairies!”

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