The DNC Drinking Game

A crowd of outlandish-looking strangers has assembled at Charlotte, North Carolina, reminding us all of the famous alien bar scene from Star Wars.  This can mean only one thing: It’s time for the Democrat National Convention!

Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you’ve decided to watch.  Well, you’re braver than most of us, but now you have to make a choice between sacrificing your sanity or your liver, because one of them isn’t going to make it out of Bank of America Stadium alive!  But just because you’ve committed yourself to hours of vomiting–that’ll be from the speeches themselves, not from the inevitable hangover–that doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun along the way!  Raid the liquor store, grab the remote, and find a comfortable place to pass out, because it’s time to play the DNC Drinking Game!

The rules are so easy, they might as well be Sandra Fluke.  Simply follow the list below and take a drink any time one of the following occurs.  And just to get the obvious out of the way, do not even think about drinking when someone mentions Obama inheriting a mess from George W. Bush, or you won’t last thirty seconds!

- Someone claims the Republicans are going to cut Medicare.

- Someone claims the Republicans are going to end Social Security.

- Debbie Wasserman Schultz blames Republicans for a random shooting.

- Someone declares the Republicans are engaged in a “War on Women.”

- A Democrat operative implies a Republican (or all Republicans) is racist.  (Yes, media personalities count here.)

- Someone mentions Bain Capital.

- Nancy Pelosi accuses Republicans of poisoning water, starving children, or some other act of supervillainy.

- Someone equates gay marriage with the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s.

- Someone equates the pro-life movement with black slavery.

- Bill Clinton uses a complaint about tax cuts to brag about his own wealth.

- Someone mentions how much money Mitt Romney has.

- A crusty old white guy accuses the Republicans of being the party of crusty old white guys.

- Elizabeth Warren utters some nonsense about roads and bridges.

- Someone mentions Iraq.

- Harry Reid quotes an imaginary friend.

- Someone accuses the Republicans of being “Robin Hood in reverse” (or calls Mitt Romney “Romney Hood”).

- Chris Matthews claims to be so excited his extremities are tingling. (NBC and MSNBC viewers only)

- Someone jokes about Mitt Romney’s tax returns.

- Michelle Obama talks about the importance of eating healthy.

- Joe Biden goes off teleprompter and makes a gaffe.

- Someone credits Barack Obama for hunting down and killing Osama bin Laden.

- An elderly Democrat operative masquerading as an ordinary citizen takes the stage and credits Democrat entitlements with saving his or her life.

- Barack Obama claims to have “turned (something) around.”

- Barack Obama mentions “our friends in the Muslim community.”

- The Democrats criticize the values which have made America great.

Related posts:

1. Game On!

Original article: The DNC Drinking Game

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