Va Right! Exclusive: Donald Trump REALLY IS Batman And We UNMASK Robin and Alfred the Butler too!

Newsweek ran a story this week about a 9 year old boy named William who took a free ride on The Donald’s helicopter at the Iowa State Fair.

The story walks the reader through the similarities between Billionaire Donald Trump and Gotham City Billionaire Bruce Wayne. After reading the Newsweek story one can see why William might be on to something.

The Newsweek story exposes the similarities:

Both Trump and Wayne made their fortunes in real estate: Wayne in antebellum Gotham City, Trump in Brooklyn and Queens in the 1960s and ’70s. Wayne’s name graces Wayne Tower, headquarters of Wayne Enterprises; Trump’s name is splashed across a string of luxury hotels in Manhattan, Las Vegas and beyond, as well as on a winery and several golf courses. Wayne mostly sticks to Wayne Manor, his family’s estate just outside Gotham’s city limits; Trump owns several homes, including Mar-a-Lago, a Palm Beach estate that formerly belonged to Marjorie Merriweather Post.

Wayne never dates one woman for long: His past paramours include Selina Kyle (Catwoman), Talia al Ghul and Vicki Vale. Trump has had three wives: Ivana Trump (nee Zelníčková), Marla Maples and Melania Trump (nee Knauss).

Then there’s the question of wealth. Trump says he is worth $8.7 billion; according to most everyone else, Trump is actually worth about $4 billion. Still a princely sum, but not quite the $11.6 billion Wayne is reportedly worth.

There is also something to be said about how closely Trump’s entrance onto the political stage mirrors Wayne’s debut as Batman. Trump shows genuine support among blue-collar voters while alienating the Republican establishment; Batman’s nightly crusade on behalf of Gotham’s downtrodden has earned him not a few enemies among the city’s established elite. In other words, Donald Trump is the hero the GOP deserves, but not the one it needs (or wants) right now.

So if Donald Trump is Batman, who is Dick Grayson / Robin? Va Right! reporters and photographers have been hot on the tail of the dynamic duo and when our reporter came up on the unsuspecting  duo eating lunch in their car at a local fast food joint, they tried to run away. But our photographer, a former Richmond Marathon Champion, managed to outrun the dynamic duo and snap the photo above confirming that Robin is none other than Ted Cruz.

People have been puzzled as to why Cruz has been so supportive of The Donald.

The Washington Post wrote:

But there’s a notable exception: Ted Cruz. Shortly after the issue flared up last week, Cruz said that Trump “speaks the truth” and didn’t need to apologize. He kept defending Trump over the weekend, saying Friday on Fox News that he thinks Trump is “terrific” and, on “Meet the Press,” that he “salute[s] Donald Trump for focusing on the need to address illegal immigration.” The suggestion that immigrants are rapists? “He has a colorful way of speaking.”

So why is Cruz the outlier here? Let’s game this out.

And the New York Times wrote:

Donald J. Trump has made himself few friends lately with his inflammatory comments about Mexican immigrants, but he does have a defender in Senator Ted Cruz.

The Republican from Texas told Fox and Friends on Tuesday that he had no problem with the billionaire businessman’s suggestion that those who cross the southern border illegally are “rapists” and “criminals.”

“I like Donald Trump. I think he’s terrific, I think he’s brash, I think he speaks the truth,” Mr. Cruz said.

And both speculated as to Cruz’ motives in rushing to Trump’s defense. But Va Right! has exposed the true reason Cruz defends the Donald. Cruz is, in fact, the other half of the cave dwelling heroes.

Another mystery solved.

But we are not finished exposing the truth here at Va Right! There is one final piece of the puzzle.

Who is Alfred the Butler?

And in yet another exclusive, we can now disclose that Alfred the Butler is none other than Bernie Sanders. (I never trusted that guy!)

You’re welcome America.