Do US Bombs and Missiles Have a ‘Use By’ Date?

I’m just wondering. Do things like Tomahawks and MOAB’s have expiration dates?

I mean, just how long can these things sit in storage before they spoil? Before the charge is inert?

Or worse, can they “go off” like milk? (Pun intended.)

Do they smell funny after a few years?

Has a Torpedo-man on a submarine ever called his buddy over and asked him to smell the ordnance? What does a bad bomb smell like? Sulfur?

Everything expires doesn’t it?

I would assume that IED’s and roadside bombs never expire because they expect to be used shortly after they are made. Sometimes the terrorist making the bomb ends up consuming it – by accident. Perhaps a “freshness” date or a “born on” date would be in order.

Has a pilot ever looked at the Sidewinder missile on his wing and said “Ahh! A vintage 2012. That was a very good year.”

Do bombs improve with age like wine or Scotch?

“Here we have an amusing 12 year old Cruise missile. It has cordite overtones and a fruity petroleum bouquet.”

Do missiles age like people? Does a missile start out as an Inter Continental Ballistic Missile and as it ages becomes good only for short trips? Like an Interstate Ballistic missile? And eventually can only make it to the bathroom? Often.

And what do they do with missiles that are out of date? Can they be refurbished? Or do you toss them out like onions that have sprouted leaves? Can they empty them out and reuse the shell? I know you can’t do that with M&M’s.

Or is the best way to rid the country of old, expired ordnance to bomb the hell out of someone? Perhaps some will fail. The Pentagon said at least one Tomahawk failed last week in Syria. Was that one older than the rest? And if it wasn’t expired, do we get a refund?

Donald Trump is frugal. We all know that.

How many “about to expire” bombs and missiles do we have? Syria is probably hoping our stock is fresh. Except for those 59 Tomahawks.

The MOAB bomb we dropped on Afghanistan must have been pretty old. We have never used them except in tests. They were developed during the Iraq war, but never used. According to Wiki, the MOAB was designed in 2002 and produced in 2003. So that big assed Mother may have been 14 years old. What if the expiration time was 15 years and we were just trying to use them up before they go bad.

Kim Jung-Un has to be wondering how many of these things we have that are starting to smell funny.

When you swallow an aspirin that expired a couple of years ago I guess the worst case scenario is that you keep your headache. But what happens to an old, expired bomb? “I wouldn’t use that one Gunny. It might blow up when it hits the ground.”

But isn’t that the point?

Does a Tomahawk’s lid bulge if it is bad? Like a Mason jar? Does a Tomahawk even have a lid?

And if we launch a “bad” missile are we afraid of being sued if the targets live but get botulism?

Can you freeze bombs and thaw them out when you need them? Does Ziplock make a freezer bag that big?

Can they be freeze dried?

That reminds me. I think I still have a case of Ramen Noodles from College back in the 70’s. I know those don’t expire.