Before You Go Old . . .

Maybe you’ve been thinking about buying an older car as a way to avoid some of the hassles, expense – and Big Brother-ish – aspects of owning a new car.

These are all-too-real. Especially the Big Brother-ish stuff, which is becoming insufferable as well as all-but-unavoidable. Good luck finding a new car without at least six air bags, an Event Data Recorder (EDR) and some kind of send-and-receive “telematics” (e.g., GM’s OnStar) that can – and will – be used to narc you out to either the government or the insurance mafia.

Or the merely aggravating – saaaaaaafety systems that pre-empt your decisions or scold you for the decisions you make.

This stuff is waxing much worse as the car companies fall over each other to double-down on electronic idiot-proofing systems such as steering “assist” which countermands your steering inputs, if the car doesn’t like the way you’re steering. And Lane Departure Warning, which pecks at you with lights and buzzers if you dare to change lanes without signaling first. And – the worst of the lot – Brake Big Brother. That’s not what they call it, but ought to. It peremptorily slams on the brakes (and hits you with flashing warning lights) when the car thinks you’re not slowing down sufficiently or in sufficient time.

Older cars – especially those made before the mid-late 1990s – do not have most of these features and some have none, if you go back before the 1990s. Such cars expect you to drive them, do not “correct” your driving and cannot narc you out to the government or the insurance mafia.

To drive such a car is to be transported back to a better time, in many very real ways. Despite all the convenience of modern cars, the idiot-proofing and Big Brother-ism can be (and is) suffocating and even infuriating.

But, before you commit to buying an older car as an end-run around the not-so-great things about owning a new car, there are some things you probably ought to know about old cars, too:

More frequent maintenance –

You will need to change the oil and perform (or have performed) minor service/adjustment more often. For example, if the car has a carburetor, it will be necessary to check/adjust the choke, idle speed and clean it every so often to keep the engine running right. There will be regular tune-ups. Belts (not serpentine and self-adjusting, as is the case with most new cars) will need occasional tightening.

The upside is that most of this maintenance is pretty simple and can be competently performed by almost anyone who is mildly handy, with basic hand tools and the willingness to read a service manual and follow the instructions. It can be fun – and empowering – to take charge of your vehicle’s care, to be independent of the dealer/shop – to know you are capable of taking care of most issues that come up. As opposed to the helpless feeling that comes up when a new car just stops working and you have to take it to the dealer to deal with it.

Also, while this maintenance will be more frequent, it will usually be small potatoes as far as your wallet is concerned. Mechanical systems that need occasional adjustment – or which can often be rebuilt, by you, with inexpensive kits – as opposed to expensive electronics that cannot be fixed by anyone and which you throw away and replace with an expensive new part.

The downside – if you aren’t handy or willing to learn – is having to find a shop/mechanic with the knowledge necessary to competently work on older cars. And having to spend the time going to and from the shop . . . waiting for them to fix your car.

But if you can turn a wrench – or learn how to turn a wrench – you’ll be free again.

And, have money again.

The “stereo” will suck – 

It’s a radio, really.

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