The WIRE: Your week in review

From the Pelosi’s blame to Brady’s shame — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest® presents: The WIRE!

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi pitched an eight hour tantrum on the floor of the House Wednesday, babbling incessantly in a show of unity with illegal aliens.

She couldn’t get off her butt for the victims of MS-13, but this she’s got time for.

Democrats cheered her on, while Republicans – actually – Republicans also cheered her on.

The longer she’s up there yammering, the better we look.

Pelosi’s pitched defense of criminals is another preview of the 2018 campaign strategy they showed us at the State of the Union. “Vote Democrat: We Pretty Much Hate You.”

The original was too wordy. “Vote Democrat: On the List of People We Care About, Actual Americans are About 4th.”

While Nancy defended DACA, her Senate counterpart Chuck Schumer was across the hall, working out a deal for a continuing resolution which omits DACA protections.

Nice when they can time the bait and the switch so neatly.

The drunk driver who allegedly killed Colts linebacker Edwin Jackson and his Uber driver is a twice-deported illegal alien.

I say “twice-deported illegal alien.” Democrats say “Dreamer.”

The release of the infamous “Nunes memo” revealed the Obama-era Department of Justice effectively engaged in campaign ops for Hillary Clinton, based on fabricated opposition research paid for by Hillary.

Screw it. Lock up everyone. Sort it out later. Or never.

Tough week for Representative Adam Schiff (D-Californistan). The prominent memo denialist not only had to watch as his talking points burned up, but he had to deal with the revelation that he offered to collude with Ukrainians selling another fake dossier, only to turn out they were Russian comedians pranking him.

Leave it this clown to not only be a blazing hypocrite, but suck at it.

President Trump’s call for a full-scale military parade drew criticism from many, who called it wasteful and/or boastful. Maybe, but why not show a little love to the guys who don’t get to do stadium flyovers?

Some don’t fly planes… because they’re too busy jumping out of them.

Democrats voiced their usual reflexive opposition. Some even threatening to “take to the streets,” and “march” against it.

So a “parade,” only much, much uglier.

And the carnage from tax reform continues. Now Amazon has joined the “doing better thanks to tax reform” club. The online giant posted a profit of almost $2 billion, its best ever.

The bodies would be stacked like firewood, they said. The streets would run red with blood, they said.

Say goodbye to White House staff secretary Rob Porter. He resigned in disgrace this week amid allegations he’s a wife beating douche. Although the president apparently didn’t know about the allegations, senior White House staffers apparently did as far back as last fall.

Good ol’ GOP, playing down to the Democrats’ level. By the way, if it’s true, fire everyone who knew.

Late night funnyman and Democratic Party conscience Jimmy Kimmel told an audience this week “It just so happens that almost every talk show host is a liberal and that’s because it requires a level of intelligence.”

Right. The guy who gave us “the juggies” is one step away from a Fields Medal.

The Girl Scouts of America found themselves in a controversy this week when one enterprising young Scout set up her cookie dispensary outside a legal marijuana dispensary and sold a mountain of cookies in no time flat.

Controversy? They should give her all the merit badges and then make her Director of Marketing.

The Philadephia Eagles defeated the New England Patriots in Super Bowl LII last week. The win was thanks in no small part to an MVP performance by backup quarterback Nick Foles… and despite an aerial assault by Tom Brady.

Hillary Clinton protested the result. She claimed the Patriots should have won because Brady had more passing yards.

A new study suggests that McDonald’s french fries may hold the cure to male pattern baldness.

Either that or Fabio has really let himself go.

Democrat intellectual and comedienne Chelsea Handler announced this week that her “goal this year was to sleep with a Republican.”

That’s assuming the sedative doesn’t wear off and he can’t chew through the restraints.

And that’s your week in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest^®, I’m Ben Crystal saying “See you next week, on The WIRE!”

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