The WIRE: Your week in review

From David Hogg to Streisand’s cloned dog — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest^® presents: The WIRE!

Some of the survivors of the Parkland atrocity have taken a little too well to their sudden celebrity. It’s one thing to make an impassioned plea, it’s another to smile your way through blaming the wrong people while on a leftist hate-group-funded speaking tour.

The little known sixth stage of grief: cashing in.

Parkland survivor David Hogg worked to stretch his 15 minutes, continuing his attacks on companies which — like FedEx — offer discounts to NRA members. However, he made sure to give the armed deputy, who hid in the bushes while his friends died, a pass.

Rank cowardice is one thing, but on time deliveries for gun owners? Now you’ve gone too far!

Among the companies killing off their discounts for NRA members: Delta Airlines. Punishing 5 million or so people who have yet to commit a crime, because leftist goons and their teenage sock puppets demanded it? That’s an *ahem* interesting business plan for a company that wouldn’t exist without taxpayer bailouts.

Delta is ready when you* are. (*some restrictions apply)

Dick’s Sporting Goods and Wal-Mart were among the retail giants getting in on the virtue-signaling, announcing suspension or restriction of firearms sales. Liberals were quick to point out that businesses have every right to decide what and to whom they can refuse to sell.

Unless a gay couple wants a wedding cake.

Since the corporate media is no longer correcting people for being wrong about everything regarding firearms, the Democrats lined up to beclown themselves publicly. Disgraced ex-DNC chair Debbie Wassermann-Schultz demanded an end to “high-capacity, rapid fire magazines.” No biggie. No one buys them anyway.

There’s nowhere to attach a chainsaw bayonet.

Senator Martin Heinrich (D-NM) called for a ban on “gas-assisted receiver firearms.” Um — “gas-assisted receiver firearms?”

That’s it! No more chili dogs at the range!

Taxpayer-subsidized Planned Parenthood’s order of battle for the upcoming elections involves $20 million in spending on ad buys, many of which will target the NRA. See if you can keep this straight: A group, which exists solely to murder babies, is using taxpayer money to buy elections by falsely claiming a group, which exists solely to protect people, is going to murder babies.

♪ It’s the ciiiiircle of bribes! ♫ The wheel of abortioooon! ♬

President Trump raised eyebrows this week in a meeting with prominent Democrats when he suggested he would back intrusive anti-gun laws. He even gave two thumbs down to due process.

Who’s got two thumbs and deserves to get primaried? This guy.

Trump followed up his ill-advised criticism of due process by announcing massive tariffs on imports of steel and aluminum. The brewery giant MillerCoors immediately pointed out that the move would make beer — among other things — more expensive.

That’ll cost him more votes than Mueller could dream of.

Russian President Vladimir Putin did a little fist-shaking this week, announcing a new missile system which he claimed would be “invincible.” Observers were less than impressed when he introduced the super-duper weapon with an over-decade-old animated clip that wouldn’t pass introductory high school graphics class.

Launch control is a Commodore 64.

Former President Barack Obama told an audience this week that he’s proud his administration, which gave us hits like Benghazi, Bowe Bergdahl, the Iran Deal, NSA, FBI and IRS abuses and Operation Fast and Furious” never produced any scandals “that embarrassed us.”

I don’t even wanna guess at what it would take to embarrass Barack Obama.

Alaska Republican Don Young got the liberals panties in a wad when he suggested that had the Jews been armed, they might have had a better chance against the Nazis. Hate to interrupt the Democrats when they’re throwing a good tantrum, but you know who else thought that? This guy.

I know you’re mad, but look… free train rides!

America’s weird uncle, former Vice President Joe Biden, wants to know who the cool girls are in the war on sexual harassment, tweeting “If you know someone who has stepped up to the front lines of this fight, I want to hear about it.”

..in private.

When actress and prominent conservative commentator Stacey Dash announced she was running for Congress from California’s 44th district, she probably didn’t expect leftists to spew vitriol ranging from sexism to death threats.

Democrats: We need more women of color to run for office!
Democrats: BURN THE WITCH.

In an interview with Vanity Fair, Barbra Streisand admitted to cloning her pet dog — twice. With the secret to building a clone army in her grasp, Barbara Streisand now needs only to reassemble the Triangle of Zinthar, and then: world domination.

We’re officially living in a South Park episode.

And that’s your week in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest^®, I’m Ben Crystal saying “See you next week, on The WIRE!”

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