What You Gon’ Do?

What You Gon’ Do? Richard Pryor related a story relating to his well known addiction to crack cocaine. He had a close friend, the football great, Jim Brown. Jim tried for years to keep Richard on the straight and narrow. Once, during one of his incredible low points, Jim came to Richard’s house. Of course Pryor was ”on the pipe.” Jim sat there before him as he descended into a smoky haze. Beyond all the rehab, psychology and arrests, Jim boiled it all down to three simple words. ”What you gon’ do?”

When confronted by insurmountable problems, sometimes we come to a crossroads. Just like in the movie, we can decide what to do, or make a deal with the devil. The devil has been stalking the corridors of our schools for far too long. It’s time for us to ask ourselves, ”What you gon’ do?”

When solutions are suggested it always comes down to expense, not what you gon’ do? The problem with school shootings is not the gun. It’s our entire society. We expelled God from class when a crazy woman from Austin didn’t like what He had to say. We invented the CPS so as to have the constant threat of the destruction of the family if parents didn’t tow the line defined by some childless caseworker with twenty one days of training. We read books by another childless nincompoop. We raised a child’s opinion to the rebuttal of discipline, and we sent our children to schools filled with teachers who should have been working at Walmart. And now we have about one school shooting a week, right on schedule. This is my surprised face. What you gon’ do?

In my opinion public schools have gone the way of the dinosaur. Back in the day, and I mean WAY back in the day, the ”little red schoolhouse” was the norm. One room, around thirty kids, some old maid teaching the ”three ’Rs” and a PADDLE! In any system there’s a level where it works and then there’s a point where it doesn’t work. Unfortunately that’s the level the public school hit a long time ago. Public schools are a herd of dinosaurs just waiting for that comet.

But, since we seem to be stuck with these contraptions for a while, how do we secure them? I’m Just gonna tell you right now that you’ll never get rid of all the guns in Texas. You might be able to rid America of all the guns because they’re too worried about where to take a pee to think about anything as in depth as the Constitution. Forget America, let Trump take care of that, let’s just concentrate on Texas for now. We just pee off the porch.

Problem: We want to dissuade sexually frustrated nerds from shooting up classrooms. You’re always gonna have these kids. They’re the ones the football boys give wedgies. I, personally, while in high school, couldn’t find a date with a fifty dollar bill. I never dreamed of hurting anyone. I DID participate in drilling a peep hole between the boy’s and girls locker rooms, but I digress.

Whenever I suggest bullet proof glass, metal detectors, armed police or teachers I get two answers from the politicians and teaching staff. One is expense. Do I understand how much it would cost just to keep one little girl alive? Why such measures would break the budget. We’d have to close the schools down! Remember earlier I said, ”In any system there’s a level where it works and then there’s a point where it doesn’t work.” Well, here we are! Time to burn the Little Red School House down. That or let God back in and pray the next nut finds Jesus before he fires that first round. Hey folks, I got faith, but not that much. When you tell me that you’re in charge of my kids, but you can’t be responsible for keeping them safe ’cause you ain’t got no money, I just hand you a Walmart application form.

The next answer is more intellectual if we’re allowed to use the words ”teacher” and ”intellectual” in the same sentence. If we secure the schools the way I suggest, the students would have their privacy invaded, and be in a virtual prison! Ever hear the term TSA? They will look up your little girl’s butt for a nuclear bomb. Stepping through a metal detector is a small price to pay for going home to mommy and daddy alive, don’t you think? So, What you gon’ do?

Solution: Close the schools and embrace the twenty first century. What do kids do most of the time when religious nuts don’t intervene? INTERNET! You enroll them in school. You issue them an iPad. You sign them up for classes. Uh, civics, English, history, and math. Add Homemaking or the girls. Where you had sixteen teachers teaching sixteen classes out of the same textbook, you have ONE working in a call center with around five hundred online students. Tests are secured much like your credit card and results are emailed to the parents. One teacher loading modules. Send the other fifteen to Walmart. Give the online teacher a raise.

I want to ask the students of the nation to do me a favor. The next time some idiot blasts his way down the hallway I want you kids to go to the art classroom, tie up the teacher so she can’t stop you, steal some poster board and magic markers and make signs. Then I want you to march out into the parking lot, stand on the teachers’ cars and display your signs reading, ”What you gon’ do?”

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